When Is the Right Time to Tell Your Child about Sex?

by Jul 6, 2022Sex + Relationships

In Girlology, we’ve been “preaching” that eight is a great age to explain sex since before our own children were that age. You’d think that as our kids approached eight we might have changed our minds. But actually, Dr. Trish and I decided to practice what we preach (I’ll share those details in another blog soon).

But when I tell other parents eight is great. I get a deer-in-the-headlights stare accompanied by, “But they’re so innocent.” 

I know

Yet still, it’s a brilliant idea (it wasn’t our original idea, so I can say that without bragging 😉).

Here’s why…

Their innocence means they have no preconceived ideas about what you’re telling them:

  • They’re not embarrassed 
  • They haven’t associated sex with anything dirty or shameful (yet)
  • They hear it with a sense of awe and wonder instead of attitude and embarrassment that comes with adolescence
  • They receive powerful knowledge that protects them from abuse and gives them confidence that they know the truth when the playground chatter starts

And most of all, as their “informant,” you get to set the tone and establish yourself as their go-to expert.

THAT 👏🏽 IS 👏🏽 A 👏🏽 GIFT 👏🏽  that will reward you and them throughout the coming years.

How? Well, much of the shame and embarrassment that’s attached to our discussions about sex and sexuality stems from the way we were informed. 

If we heard about it from a friend in the school bathroom (like I did), or at a sports practice, a sleepover, or in the lunch line, it was likely shared among whispers, giggles, and side-eye glances that rendered it naughty. 

Even if we heard about it from a well-intentioned but uncomfortable and unprepared parent (or gym teacher), it probably felt weird and shameful.

But what if your child’s informant is a totally prepared and matter-of-fact YOU? That means you set the tone – no shame, just age-appropriate, honest, accurate information with some expectations and values tossed in for good measure. 

How do you get to that version of you?

We can help.

If you’re feeling a little hesitant or if you just want someone else to jumpstart the chat for you, There's no shame in outsourcing some of the science and introductory information. Our on-demand Reproduction class was designed to give children (and parents) the science and medical essentials of sex and reproduction, but it also encourages you to continue the dialogue within the context of your own family values. 

Parents love that we explain everything in medically-accurate yet child-friendly language, and the content creates a strong foundation for those future conversations. 

And because ALL children have questions (really great questions!), we include a downloadable ebook to reinforce what your child learns and to provide our medically-based, mom-approved answers to the most common questions we get from 5th graders. You can watch the class sneak peek here. If you’re a devoted DIYer, we offer lots of other tips that can help prepare you to be the best guide for your children. 

Consider joining our community for the sex talk help, and stick around for the puberty and mental health help! We offer grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others? Learn More Here.

P.S. Yes, eight is great, but nine is fine, ten is still a win…it's NEVER too late to start!!

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