Warm weather is here — it’s time yet again for adventures in hair removal. And maybe this year you have a newbie comrade in the battle of the bush. You’re at Target trying on bathing suits with your 12-year-old daughter and you notice some new hair sprouting around her undies. Or your 13-year-old daughter is sitting Indian-style next to the pool and, lo and behold, there’s moss around her bikini line. How should you best approach a subject that may be awkward for both of you?
Chances are, your tween or teen daughter already has some awareness of pubic hair care, from Tik Tok, discussions with friends, or by observing your anatomy and habits. She may already be be performing some type of grooming on her own. It’s important to talk about safe & effective methods so you can help her avoid ingrown hairs or other uncomfortable outcomes. It’s even MORE important to make sure she’s making this decision based on her own preferences, NOT pressure from others.
Understandably, many girls want to get rid of unwanted hair that might poke out of a bathing suit, but removing all of the hair down there can cause rashes, ingrown hairs, or skin infections that can become abscesses. Removing all of it can also set her up for irritation from the chronic moisture of sweat and vaginal discharge that has nowhere to go. Besides, there’s a purpose for pubic hair: it reduces friction, protects skin, and helps prevent bacteria from reaching more sensitive areas.
So first of all, pick a time and place that’s private (not at the pool when you first notice it!). Reassure her that “hair down there” is natural and normal — everybody’s got it, and whether or not she wants to do anything about it is a matter of personal preference.
Upon hearing the words “pubic hair,” she might just roll her eyes and run in the other direction. Be patient. Give her some time if she’s not engaged when you first bring it up, but try to find a time to share some of these tips if she wants to do a bit of grooming down there:
Before the task:
- Pick a spot such as the shower or tub — tiny hairs can be hard to clean up.
- Use a hand mirror to check out her anatomy. Trimming blindly can lead to snipping her labia (ouch) or result in removing more hair than she planned.
Trimming:
- It’s easier to trim dry hair.
- Use scissors with blunted edges and that are small enough to maneuver around corners. No pointy nail scissors in this area.
- It’s even safer to use a small electric hair trimmer with a guard over the blades. This offers protection and a uniform length. Do not use an electric razor with rotating heads… ouch!
Shaving:
- Use a new, clean razor. No sharing razors or using a dull one in this area. Pubic hair is thicker and coarser than other body hair requires a sharp blade for clean cuts.
- Clean the skin with soap and water before shaving. Some girls like to soak in a warm bath or shower to soften the hair and reduce irritation to the skin. A little exfoliation before shaving may also help reduce irritation or ingrown hairs.
- Always shave wet.
- If the hair is really long, consider trimming first and shaving second.
- Always shave in the same direction the hair grows. This will help prevent razor rash and ingrown hairs. Unscented shaving cream or gels may also help lift the hairs off the skin making a close trim easier.
- Rinse the razor after each swipe.
- Use the other hand to pull the skin tight in areas of loose skin or folds.
- Finish with a splash of cold water and a good unscented lotion or moisturizer that contains vitamin E or aloe.
If she asks about more permanent ways to remove hair, here are a few methods to consider:
Hair removal creams or depilatories:
These chemically dissolve the hair to the level of the skin (and they’re obviously pretty harsh chemicals – not our favorite). Some girls like this method because it lasts about two weeks, but many more complain about the tingling or burning pain it causes. If your daughter decides to try it, make sure she performs a spot test first in case a reaction develops. Do not use these around the vaginal opening.
Waxing:
Warm wax is applied to the area and covered with a strip of paper. Once the wax cools, the paper is quickly removed, pulling the hair out at the root. This method lasts longer than shaving or depilatories but regrowth can cause irritation and ingrown hairs.
Make sure to go to an experienced aesthetician. Bad burns can occur if the wax is too hot for young girls’ skin. Other methods that pull the hair out from the root include tweezing, sugaring, threading or a tool called an epilator.
Laser and other permanent hair removal methods
Laser treatments have come a long way, and some are even available for at-home use. Just a word of caution — be wary of these during the teen years, because it’s not uncommon for teens to get a little over-zealous with hair removal, and remember – there’s a purpose for her pubic hair! Plus styles or opinions will probably change over time, and it’s always good to have options.
Girls will have different opinions about what’s right for them. Just make sure they’re grooming for their own comfort and choice, not because of pressure from anyone else. Hair that bothers you may not bother her, so try not to project your opinions or possible dislike of body hair. It’s important to talk about it so she knows she has options and understands proper methods as well as the pros and cons of each. Most important, make sure she knows whatever she chooses is acceptable. All’s fair in the battle of hair.
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