Recently, I invited some girlfriends from college and my young adult years to soak in a lake and the comfort, laughter, and nostalgia of deep-rooted friendships. These are friends I don’t see enough, but we know each others' histories so well, we always pick up where we left off. They’re also friends who show up with open hearts, no judgment, the perfect playlist, and wine!
As we caught up on the usual topics (with an extra dose of aging parent challenges and teen drama this year) each of us, in one way or another, mentioned our hopes that our own children will experience friendships like ours to carry them through their own adulting.
I especially thought of my youngest who was in the middle of that awful stage when friend groups begin to shift and some girls choose exclusion over inclusion, and indifferent over kind.
Remember that? Ugh. 🙄
What’s ironic about my girls trip is that I kept hearing that voice in my head reeling off the tips in our Friendship Matters Class and Workbook. I was trying to get away from work for a few days, but it kept creeping in!
Then it dawned on me. 💡
I was actually SEEING the tips put to use as I spent time with these friends.
In fact, the class and ebook we created for 5th and 6th graders was actually helping ME be a more engaged and attentive friend.
Although our class also covers things like bullies and crushes, it begins with some essentials for any true friendship. We call them our Friendship F.A.C.T.s, and I think everyone can benefit from remembering them.
To help your daughter understand the essentials of any relationship, help her learn and practice these things:
Feedback: giving feedback that can communicate feelings and needs, as well as receiving feedback with an attitude of learning and growing
Attention: learning to show her interest through her actions, comments, and body language
Cheering: showing support for her friends through thoughtful and encouraging comments
Time: helping her understand that spending time with friends is the best way to strengthen relationships and have more things to talk about
I know it sounds cheesy, but I believe my girls’ trip was more meaningful because I got a refresher on Friendship Matters. (Thankfully, I didn’t have to use any of our tips on bullies or bystander issues!)
- My feedback was better.
- My focus was more intentional.
- I had better ways to express my own needs.
- I dove into the activities with greater enthusiasm.
I came home even more excited to remind our members about this class because I realized it’s NOT just for tween girls (well, it IS, but it's also good for anyone).
The tips and skills are of universal importance, but they don't come naturally.
I hope you’ll watch it with your daughter, download the workbook, and use it as a refresher in your own life because friendships thrive when we’re more intentional, and friendships matter, right?
Consider joining Girlology for friendship help, and stick around for guidance on puberty, periods, mental health, skin care, body image and more! We offer grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others. Learn More Here.
