During the three to five years that it takes for a girl to get through puberty, there’s a LOT of stuff going on. Some of the changes can be exciting, but many create anxiety. Girls worry most about whether their body is changing in a normal way. They worry if they are first to develop; they worry if they are developing later than all of their friends. And when bodies are changing and doing new things that they don’t understand, they worry that something is wrong.

When girls understand what’s normal and expected, they face the changes with greater confidence and less anxiety. After two decades of leading girls’ puberty eduction programs and receiving thousands of questions through our website, we know what girls (and their moms) worry about the most. Below, we present five things that your daughter needs to know about puberty before it happens (so she won’t worry!).

Breast buds are not cancer.

The first sign of breast development is a firm knot under the areola, called a breast bud. Often, one side “buds” first, then the other bud shows up weeks or months later. Breast cancer awareness has made such great strides that even little girls know that lumps in the breast are concerning. Many young girls have had family members with breast cancer, and they worry that their own breast bud is also cancer. Girls (and moms) need to understand that the tender knots that happen under the areola between the ages of 7 and 12 are not cancer, but are caused by normal breast development and will disappear in time. For help with breast concerns, go HERE.

Vaginal discharge is normal.

Women don’t typically talk about vaginal discharge during every day conversations, so many girls have never heard of it. When girls start to notice a new wetness or “crust” in their underwear, many have no idea what it is or if it’s normal. There are a few things that they need to know about discharge: it begins soon after breasts begin to develop; it is the way the vagina cleans itself; and it’s something that all girls and women have (even though they don’t usually talk about it!). In early puberty, vaginal discharge can be irritating to the sensitive vulvar skin (until the hair fills in and helps keep the discharge off of the skin), so knowing how to manage it is helpful, too (we cover that in our Puberty class available to subscribers).

Nobody can tell you’re on your period unless you tell them.

Do you remember thinking that people could see your bulky pad through your clothes? Did you ever believe that others could tell you were having your period by the way you looked, smelled or acted? Girls today still worry about these things, but they’re simply not true. Young girls want reassurance that others cannot tell when they are having their period. As they mature and get used to menstruation, however, we hope that they will have the confidence to not care if others know they are having a period, because periods are NORMAL! Make sure she’s prepared and confident with this class.

Emotions come from experiences, not hormones.

Adults may need this lesson more than girls, but everyone should understand that emotions are not caused by hormones. Emotions are reactions to things that people experience and feel. Sure, hormonal changes can make emotional reactions bigger, but as girls enter puberty, help them get in the habit of naming their emotions and identifying what triggers them. This is a valuable skill that will help them throughout adolescence and into adulthood. Girls (and boys) are especially empowered when they find healthy ways to identify, express, and manage their emotions, especially the more difficult ones like sadness, anger, jealously or disappointment.

Your body is amazing.

With all the body shaming and unrealistic body images that dominate the media and our culture, too many girls grow up believing they are not pretty enough, thin enough or fit enough. As puberty brings on changes in body size and shape, girls need to practice trusting and caring for their body. They need to know it is amazing because of the things it can do. Help girls value their body for what it helps them accomplish. Help them normalize NORMAL and recognize that the “ideal” created by the media and fashion industry is mostly unattainable and often unhealthy. Finally, be someone who models respect for body diversity and values others for their actions and deeds over appearances. Our video class How to Like Your Body was created to help girls develop this mindset and the practices that prevent body dislike.

 

 

 

Recently, I invited some girlfriends from college and my young adult years to soak in a lake and the comfort, laughter, and nostalgia of deep-rooted friendships. These are friends I don’t see enough, but we know each others’ histories so well, we always pick up where we left off. They’re also friends who show up with open hearts, no judgment, the perfect playlist, and wine!

As we caught up on the usual topics (with an extra dose of aging parent challenges and teen drama this year) each of us, in one way or another, mentioned our hopes that our own children will experience friendships like ours to carry them through their own adulting.

I especially thought of my youngest who was in the middle of that awful stage when friend groups begin to shift and some girls choose exclusion over inclusion, and indifferent over kind.

Remember that? Ugh. 🙄

What’s ironic about my girls trip is that I kept hearing that voice in my head reeling off the tips in our Friendship Matters Class and Workbook. I was trying to get away from work for a few days, but it kept creeping in!

Then it dawned on me. 💡

I was actually SEEING the tips put to use as I spent time with these friends.  

In fact, the class and ebook we created for 5th and 6th graders was actually helping ME be a more engaged and attentive friend. 

Although our class also covers things like bullies and crushes, it begins with some essentials for any true friendship. We call them our Friendship F.A.C.T.s, and I think everyone can benefit from remembering them.

To help your daughter understand the essentials of any relationship, help her learn and practice these things:

Feedback: giving feedback that can communicate feelings and needs, as well as receiving feedback with an attitude of learning and growing

Attention: learning to show her interest through her actions, comments, and body language

Cheering: showing support for her friends through thoughtful and encouraging comments

Time: helping her understand that spending time with friends is the best way to strengthen relationships and have more things to talk about

I know it sounds cheesy, but I believe my girls’ trip was more meaningful because I got a refresher on Friendship Matters. (Thankfully, I didn’t have to use any of our tips on bullies or bystander issues!) 

• My feedback was better. 
• My focus was more intentional.
• I had better ways to express my own needs.
• I dove into the activities with greater enthusiasm.

I came home even more excited to remind our members about this class because I realized it’s NOT just for tween girls (well, it IS, but it’s also good for anyone). 

The tips and skills are of universal importance, but they don’t come naturally. 

I hope you’ll watch it with your daughter, download the workbook, and use it as a refresher in your own life because friendships thrive when we’re more intentional, and friendships matter, right? 

Consider joining Girlology for friendship help, and stick around for guidance on puberty, periods, mental health, skin care, body image and more! We offer grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others. Learn More Here.

If you haven’t told your child about sex by 4th grade, I hope you’ll read this. 

Every year, I seem to get at least one phone call from a panic-stricken mom with a child in the third or fourth grade. It usually goes something like this (in a flustered whisper)…

“Help!! My precious, innocent little [insert child’s name] just came home from school and told me that one of her friends told her what sex is. She wanted to know how I could let her daddy do that to me. 

When I asked her to share what she learned, her description included words like ‘under the sheets,’ ‘wiggling,’ and ‘poking.’ She seems upset and scared. Now what do I do?!?!”

That’s the reality with late elementary age children. There will always be some kids in the class that have older siblings who have shared “the big secret” about sex. Or perhaps there’s a precocious child who has developed his or her own definition based on unsupervised time with the media. 

No matter the source, most of the time, what’s being shared among elementary school friends about that mysterious word is shaded with a “naughty” flavor that makes the whole story seem dirty and awful. 

And that’s the start of many myths that circulate throughout the years to come.

How do we protect our young children from the scary and negative messages about sex? 

We have to get to them first!

Really. YOU need to be her “informant.”

If you can turn the “sex” talk into a special event with your child, you can keep the message accurate, simple, positive, and full of the miraculous wonder that reproduction really does hold. And there’s no better age than 8 or 9 for this message. Any older, and it’s super likely they have already heard “stuff” and find the whole topic gross and embarrassing. 

But at 8 or 9, your child is more full of wonder than attitude, and that’s the perfect time to strike.

Before I move on with tips for this talk, there is one disclaimer:

Do not believe for a minute that having “THE TALK” as a single conversation is sufficient.

When it comes to sexuality education, there is no such thing as one or two “talks.” If you’ve explored the Girlology app, you already know that. But we do recognize that lots of parents have the most trouble with that one conversation where intercourse is accurately defined. So, these tips are for that conversation. 

Here are the Girlology tips for having “the sex talk” with your elementary aged child:

• Treat it as a very special “big mystery to life” that you will reveal on a special day, maybe on a birthday or a special trip. Talk it up beforehand so there is some excitement in the air.

• Make it a special discussion, not one that you have when you’re trying to do other things. Set aside some time and quiet place that is free from interruptions.

• Start with eggs, sperm and fertilization. Then, proceed through fetal development and birth. Use pictures to show the sperm, egg, fetus and maybe even of a birth. Animal births are also a great example. 

• End with intercourse…that’s the big mystery. You could ask, “How do you think the sperm and the egg find each other?” When you tell your child how the sperm gets in the woman’s body, you will probably get a crinkled nose or an ewww. That’s ok. Keep it short and simple, because they will be ready to stop talking about it at that point.

• If that seems a bit overwhelming, just watch our class, The Science of Reproduction with your child – – it’s exactly how we present it. 

• Answer all their questions! They come up with some great ones! Keep your sense of humor, and if you don’t know an answer, that’s ok. Try to find it out and get back to them.

• Be sure to remind them it’s not their place to share the story with their friends. Other kids deserve to have their own parents involved in how and when they learn about it.

• Encourage your spouse or child’s other parent to tell your child that he/she knows about the discussion and is also happy to answer questions anytime.

• Check in again after a few days  to see if there are more questions. They need time to process the information and that often raises new questions.

The whole explanation only takes about 15-20 minutes. And that little bit of time can save you hours in backpedaling out of the mess that other kids can cause with their shared versions of the story. 

Once you make it special and keep it positive, your child will be armed with knowledge from a more accurate source than the kid on the playground. And when a kid starts telling the dirty version, yours will know the truth and start recognizing the inaccuracies and embellishments that come with playground chatter.

So take a deep breath and plan your special “big mystery of life” event.

You’ve got this!

Consider joining Girlology for the sex talk help, and stick around for the puberty and mental health help! We offer grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others? Learn More Here.

😂Whether you’re watching our on-demand puberty program with her from the comfort of your couch or you’re attending an in-person Girlology program offered by your local Girlologist, I want to share some insider information.

There will be plenty of facts dropped and jokes floated, but do you best to pay attention to the “feel good” moments.

After teaching our girls’ puberty programs to thousands of girls and their caregivers for 15+ years, these are the moments I love to watch. Most often, they show up in facial expressions or body language, but sometimes you’ll find them in their laughter or whispers. 

So if you’re ready to get started with our Level 3 playlist that introduces her to the basic puberty topics or you’ve diving right into the our full puberty class with her, keep an eye out for some of these things. I hope they warm your ❤️ and remind you that you’re doing a great job by making sure she’s informed and prepared. 

• the way she reluctantly walks in (or agrees to watch), but quickly becomes comfortable. 😂

   

   

• how truly curious she is about her body and how it works. 🤔

   

   

• those sighs of relief as she discovers she’s normal and not alone. 😅

   

   

• her “oh!” and “aha!” moments when she “gets” how period products work. 💡

   

   

• The giggles that bubble up as she realizes these chats don’t have to be so serious! 😆

   

   

• the nods and knowing glances she shoots you as we chat about friendships and moods. 😏

   

   

• the emotional connection you feel during this shared experience. 😥

   

   

• and the way she leans into you or reaches out for a sweet touch that lets you know this is meaningful. 💕

Sharing this class truly creates connection. It also serves as an ice-breaker and a springboard for so many future chats. We hear from parents all the time that they watched a class with their daughter, and it strengthened their connection because they were talking more comfortably and frequently about changing bodies and minds. When that happens, you are way more likely to become her trusted go-to, and that is so protective.

So watch for the feel-good moments for YOU, and take comfort in knowing SHE will enter puberty and adolescence with greater confidence knowing what’s ahead.

You’re doing a great job!

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

It’s normal to feel anxiety rising when you look at your daughter and realize she’s moving quickly through childhood toward puberty. Maybe one of her friends is developing, or maybe she tosses out some attitude that feels unfamiliar and prickly. Or maybe, she just put on her bathing suit for the first time this year and omg, what has been going on under those bulky winter clothes? 

There’s no reason to panic, but there are lots of good reasons to prepare – yourself first, THEN, your girl.

Part of helping our daughters navigate puberty and adolescence with confidence and knowledge is to do our own work. Here’s the assignment:

1. Shift parenting gears. 

Parenting toddlers and young children requires a lot of physical stamina. It can be exhausting to constantly scan the physical environment for hazards, keep her entertained with developmentally-beneficial  activities, schedule and supervise playdates, answer all her questions. As you shift toward parenting pre-teens and teens, it’s physically easier, but requires a ton more mental energy. Instead of watching HER every move, you have to start watching YOUR OWN thoughts, judgments, and responses, all while encouraging her to be more independent, advocate for her needs, learn from her mistakes, and think about her future. The most useful skills for parenting tweens and teens become staying calm, responding with curiosity instead of judgment, modeling healthy relationships, and being generous with opportunities to problem solve instead of doing all the problem solving for her.  

 

2. Prepare her without overwhelming her.

You’ve spent her whole life preparing her for what’s ahead, whether it was her her first day of school or her daily routine to get ready for bed. You know she does better when she knows what to expect and hears your reassurances that make it less scary or overwhelming. She needs the same things as she heads into puberty. What’s next for her body? When will it happen? How can she care for it? What can she do to manage her big feelings?  Believe it or not, preparing her for puberty and adolescence is no different than preparing her for anything else in her life, and you’re the best one to help her feel ready.

 

3. Learn strategies that support and nurture the ever-changing emotional and mental health landscape of a budding adolescent.

Every generation of adolescents has faced trends and cultural influences that threaten their mental health. Today, those challenges are bigger than ever as evidenced by the current mental health crisis among teens – girls especially. Parenting through puberty is tough, but it’s best when YOU feel supported with accessible, relatable resources and expert guides. If we want to shift the current tide of declining mental health among girls, we have to focus on prevention. Since over half of all mental health disorders among adults begin by age 14, puberty is the perfect time for our preventative efforts.

Great. but HOW do you DO all of that?

It depends on where this journey is starting for you (and her).

If you’re here early in the game, my best advice is download our free ebook, Be Her Best Guide (a Pre-Puberty Guide for Proactive Parents). It will start you on the right path with preparation tips, facts, how-to advice, and answers to common questions.  

If puberty is already underway in your home, then I invite you to join our community to check out our other content. We offer hundreds of tips & discussions for parents and engaging classes for girls through every age and stage of puberty and adolescence; and I promise, you’re not too late to start. 

We know it takes a village, and as physicians dedicated to girls’ health and wellness, and moms of daughters, our passion is to empower girls and the people who care for them with accurate and helpful health & wellness information that helps grow their confidence.

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

Men often admit it – periods freak them out a little. Is it worth the effort to help them overcome their menstrual misunderstandings? What if they were actually supportive – even low key supportive. We don’t need men cheering us on when we start, or making a big deal about our miraculous monthly, but we DO need men to be cool with it and not wince or cover their ears when we mention menstruation. How nice would it be for him to grab a box of your favorite fem care products when he sees them on sale? 

Yeah. We have some work to do.

Sure, we women can continue buying our own stuff and managing just fine, right? But for any man with daughters, it’s actually important to help him loosen up and become a period positive dad.

Researchers in girls’ self-esteem report that daughters with emotionally distant fathers often struggle with self-worth and body image issues. But girls with fathers who stay connected and involved throughout adolescence show greater confidence in their relationships. When dads (and moms) make it clear that they are comfortable discussing periods, they send the message that it’s ok to talk openly about reproductive health, and THAT is a gift. Kids who have open and honest conversations about reproductive health make better decisions about sex and relationships.

Sound like a lot for a dad to conquer? They’re more interested and willing than you might think, and you can get big results with some simple first steps.

Here are 6 steps for helping him become the perfect low-key period support guy.

1- Model comfort. The best way to get him more comfortable is to show your own comfort. Stop whispering about it. Stop using code names for your period or lady parts. Stop hiding your pads, tampons and menstrual cups. Stop putting your femcare products under the other stuff in your shopping basket. The more he sees and hears your comfort, the more inspired he will be to handle it the same way.

2- Review the basics. If he’s confused about the menstrual cycle, have him watch our class, Confident about Periods, or download our ebook on periods HERE. Read or watch them together for a fun and helpful shared experience – no wincing allowed.

3- Take a field trip. Next time you’re at the store together, stroll down the personal care aisle and show him the fem care products you like. Talk (out loud) about the different products and why you like what you like. Make it fun, keep it light, and he’ll catch on that buying pads and tampons is no different than buying toilet paper!

4- Give him your wish list. Send him a picture of your preferred products to keep on his phone so he never has an excuse for not knowing what to get. Then, encourage him to watch for sales if he has shopping duty. Bonus points if he delivers.

5- Use proper terms. If he’s gearing up to be a supportive dad, get him involved and talking early! Whether you have sons or daughters, use the correct words for anatomy from the beginning, and help him stay approachable and askable when those body and baby questions come up. No stuttering. No changing the topic. Practice providing simple, matter-of-fact answers.

6- Keep him involved. As your daughters’ bodies begin to change in puberty, don’t keep it a secret from Dad. Fathers can add a wonderfully important layer of matter-of-factness and humor that gives their daughters an extra boost of confidence and no-biggie attitude as they begin a transition that too often involves shame and embarrassment. Then, if she’s alone with dad when she starts her first period – they’ll handle it together in their own low-key way as they continue to strengthen a bond that will boost her confidence for years to come.

 Want to know our favorite classes for daughters and dads to watch together? 

Confident about Periods
The Science of Reproduction

Did you know that Girlology also offers grade-by-grade, on-demand, video playlists to support her and you — on all things girls’ health? Learn More Here.

Over the years, I have explained the science of reproduction and sexual intercourse to thousands & thousands of young people and their parents. I’ve heard all the questions. I’ve alleviated a lot of anxiety. I’ve eliminated a ton of confusion and reduced awkwardness. But when it came time to share the magical “secret to life” with my own kids…well, let’s just say I’m always learning. 

I shared the information with each of my children in the same way I always have: started with eggs and the flowy landscape of the female reproductive tract, shared pictures of the male body and those cool little sperm, fascinated them with fertilization, fetal development, and birth. Then finally I came back around to exactly how the sperm gets to the egg, and emphasized that all of it depends on consent, trust, and comfort in mature adult relationships. 

So here’s how it went at my house (I had this chat with each of them at age 8– I know, but I explain that HERE):

My oldest (my little scientist) had tons of technical questions like, “How do the sperm know which tube the egg is in?” “What happens to the sperm that don’t get to fertilize the egg?” and “Does sex help with arthritis?” (that’s another story for another time…)

My middle daughter (my creative) replied “ewwww” and asked if she ever had to “do that.” She was relieved to know it would always be up to her, and with that answer, she drifted off to sleep. 

My youngest (my social one) asked no questions. HOWEVER, the next day, she proceeded to educate her entire friend group (even though I told her this was not something to share with her friends). 😅😱 Fortunately, only one mom required a bit of damage control… the others seized the opportunity to have their own talks. Two of them even complimented me on how well my youngest had shared the facts, which is not what usually happens when peers share this type of information (so maybe I was a little proud 😏).

Lesson 1:

Don’t overthink your preparation! You’ll never predict what they’ll ask or how they’ll respond!

Lesson 2:

Each child will respond differently, so don’t get too complacent – just consider it a great way to stay fresh and nimble in your parenting game. 

Lesson 3: 

Watch out for those youngest children, they have a mind of their own and are wise & confident well beyond their years.

Lesson 4 (learned in retrospect)

Talking with your children early and often about their bodies and being an “askable” parent who is open to talking about sex creates comfort and ease that encourages them (and often their friends) to come to you for advice or accurate answers – about a LOT of stuff! As their trusted go-to, YOU get to hear more about their lives and support them as they make choices (both good and not-so-good) and ultimately develop the skills to live out their values.

 

No matter how old your child is – it’s a great time to start some of these conversations. Join our community and get all the help you need. 

If you need to start with something simple, like anatomy, here’s a great place to start.

If you want to talk about puberty first, go here.

And if you’re ready to explain sex, we’d love to help with THIS class. 

Just get started, and keep talking! We’re here to support you through every age and stage.  

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others? Learn More HERE. 

I know this is a blog focused on parenting through puberty, but this time, I have an article written directly to young girls. Consider this indirect parenting advice. 

I wrote it because kids don’t always tell their parents what they’re worried about. But through Girlology and years of medical practice, I’ve had so many girls express so much anxiety over whether or not their breast development is normal. A little reassurance and education can go a long way toward boosting her confidence and helping her accept her changing body. 

So read this yourself (to gain some insight into what she may worry about) and let her read it to get some direct reassurance and facts. These are things I wish all parents would share with their daughters – so they KNOW MORE & FEAR LESS. If your daughter has budding breasts, we also have an entire class for her that covers even more – including tips on bras and bra shopping. You can find it HERE.

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Growing breasts is just a normal part of puberty, but for something so normal, breast development can raise a lot of questions. 

🤷🏻‍♀️ “When will they grow?” 

🤦🏽‍♀️ “When will they stop growing?” 

🙋🏼‍♀️“Are mine normal?”

From all the questions that young people ask us about breast development, it’s obvious that this part of growing up can be exciting, worrisome, and even annoying – all at the same time! It’s exciting because growing breasts means you are growing up and your body is doing what it is supposed to do. The worrisome parts can be made a lot better by understanding what’s normal and what to expect.  And the annoying part? Well, having breasts takes a little getting used to, but there are some things you can do to make them less bothersome.

 

How they start

When your breasts begin to grow, you might not SEE the growth as much as you FEEL it.  Your nipples can be sore or tender to touch.  Often, it’s just one side.  That means things are starting!  

 If you notice pain in or behind your nipple, you might also be able to feel a firm bump underneath it. The bump is called a breast bud and it can be as small as a blueberry or a little bigger.  The bump under your nipple will make the dark skin that surrounds the nipple (called the areola, uh REE uh luh), look puffy or bigger.  The combination of your nipple, areola and the bump underneath it is called a breast bud. That’s how it all begins – with a bud.

Pain?

It’s perfectly normal for one or both buds to hurt or feel tender. Once the budding begins, your breasts will go through growth spurts just like the rest of your body does.  As your breasts grow, you will probably have pain or tenderness again. Just like you can have growing pains in your legs, your breasts will have some growing pains too.

 If your nipples feel sensitive or raw, make sure you wear soft fabrics over them. Sometimes, even t-shirts can feel too rough against sore nipples.  If your breasts hurt when you run or move, a regular bra can help, but a sports bra can do a better job of holding your breasts snuggly to your body so they don’t jiggle when you’re active. And if they still hurt, it can help to place a warm heating pad or cloth over them.

Once your breasts have been growing for a year or two, you may have a new kind of pain that is caused by hormone changes that will happen once you start your period (we have lots of information on periods HERE).  This breast tenderness happens because of the hormones that cause your period. Usually the tenderness starts a few days before your period starts, and it goes away after a few days to a week. 

Finally, as you go through puberty, just like you need bigger clothes for your growing body, you will also need bigger bras as your breasts grow.  A well-fitting bra is important for your comfort, so make sure you get help finding the right fit. Believe it or not, there are actually expert bra fitters in some department stores and stores that specialize in underwear and bras. 

Lopsided?

It’s also perfectly normal to have a bud on just one side.  Sometimes both of your breasts will “bud” together, but usually, one side starts first, then the other side starts a few weeks to a few months later and catches up in size.  Don’t be surprised if one breast stays a little larger than the other.  That’s typical. Our bodies aren’t exactly the same on each side.  Just like one foot is usually a little bit bigger than the other, one breast is usually a little different than the other.  Once your breasts are finished growing, they will be pretty close to the same size. 

Bumps and Lumps?

When breasts buds form, some girls worry that the knot or lump under the nipple is a sign of breast cancer. It’s important to know how your breasts grow so you don’t worry. Breast buds are not cancer, and breast cancer doesn’t happen when you are a pre-teen or teen. In fact, it is very very rare for breast cancer to happen to anyone under the age of 30.

There are other breast lumps and bumps that you might notice as you develop. Some people will grow small bumps (a little bigger than a pimple) on the areola.  These are glands that make oils to keep your nipples soft. They are common, but not all girls have them.

There may also be smaller bumps (the size of goosebumps) with thick, curly hairs growing out of them.  Some girls, especially those with darker hair, will grow hairs around the areola. The bumps that the hairs grow out of are called hair follicles, and they are normal, too. Some people have hair around their nipples, some don’t.

Once your breasts have grown beyond buds, you may find that your breast tissue feels lumpy all over. And guess what? Don’t worry. Most breasts have tiny lumps everywhere caused by the glands that can produce milk. The glands are small, but you may be able to feel them. You know how cottage cheese has little lumps throughout? Normal breast tissue is kind of like that – little, soft lumps all over that you can’t see through the skin, but you can barely feel. 

Stretch Marks

During puberty, you will do some pretty fast growing. Sometimes your body grows so fast that your skin has trouble stretching fast enough to keep up. When that happens, you might see “stretch marks.”  Stretch marks start as red to purple lines on the skin, and eventually fade to a more natural skin color.  They are most common on breasts, hips, and upper thighs. You can’t stop stretch marks on your breasts, not even with expensive “stretch mark” creams and lotions, but a bra that fits well can keep them from getting worse.  

Early and Late blooming

It’s normal for breasts to start growing as young as seven years old or as late at twelve. If you’re on the young side, it can seem like they are growing too fast, too soon.  Just because you develop early doesn’t mean your breasts will keep growing and be giant.  And if you are the last one of your friends to grow breasts, it doesn’t mean they will be small.  Breast size is determined by the genes you inherit from your mother and father, not by your age. The timing of your development also depends on your ancestors. Either way, being the one of the first or last to develop can feel awkward. 

It’s important to remember that your body knows what to do and will do it at the right time for you. Throughout the preteen and teen years, you will continue to grow and change shape. Remember that you will grow on your own unique schedule, and you will have your own unique look and shape. Do your best to trust your body and take care of it so it can help you accomplish all the great things you are capable of doing!

If you have other questions about breast development, feel free to leave them in the comments. Just remember- we can’t answer personal health questions or give individual medical advice.

 

Did you know that Girlology also offers grade-by-grade, on-demand, video playlists to support her and you — on all things girls’ health? Learn More Here.

You know how there was so much advice out there when our kids were babies and toddlers? Then suddenly (spoiler alert 🚨), you hit the most challenging years of parenting, and help is hard to find?

We call that the Mom Cliff.

And it’s why we started Girlology. 

As your daughter is entering a new phase of rapid change and growth, your parenting strategies require some change and growth, too. Plus, you just need trusted information. It’s not easy to adjust to her body changes, morphing attitudes, big emotions, and growing independence, but with the right support and community, the journey is a LOT easier (for everyone involved).

As doctors, moms, aunts, sisters, and friends, we’re in this with you. And we’ll use this space to provide the support you deserve. This is where we’ll share parenting challenges and offer strategies that can help – some based on research and clinical medicine, some based on been-there-managed-that wisdom.

In the comments, we invite you to share your stories that illustrate the challenges of parenting through puberty. We’ll create new content based on your needs. We’ll lean on our expert professional network as well as our trusted friends and community as we all do our best to raise healthy, informed, and confident daughters.

 

Did you know that Girlology also offers grade-by-grade, on-demand, video playlists to support her and you — on all things girls’ health? Learn More Here.

In Girlology, we’ve been “preaching” that eight is a great age to explain sex since before our own children were that age. You’d think that as our kids approached eight we might have changed our minds. But actually, Dr. Trish and I decided to practice what we preach (I’ll share those details in another blog soon).

But when I tell other parents eight is great. I get a deer-in-the-headlights stare accompanied by, “But they’re so innocent.” 

I know. 

Yet still, it’s a brilliant idea (it wasn’t our original idea, so I can say that without bragging 😉).

Here’s why…

Their innocence means they have no preconceived ideas about what you’re telling them:

• They’re not embarrassed 
• They haven’t associated sex with anything dirty or shameful (yet)
• They hear it with a sense of awe and wonder instead of attitude and embarrassment that comes with adolescence
• They receive powerful knowledge that protects them from abuse and gives them confidence that they know the truth when the playground chatter starts

And most of all, as their “informant,” you get to set the tone and establish yourself as their go-to expert.

THAT 👏🏽 IS 👏🏽 A 👏🏽 GIFT 👏🏽  that will reward you and them throughout the coming years.

How? Well, much of the shame and embarrassment that’s attached to our discussions about sex and sexuality stems from the way we were informed. 

If we heard about it from a friend in the school bathroom (like I did), or at a sports practice, a sleepover, or in the lunch line, it was likely shared among whispers, giggles, and side-eye glances that rendered it naughty. 

Even if we heard about it from a well-intentioned but uncomfortable and unprepared parent (or gym teacher), it probably felt weird and shameful.

But what if your child’s informant is a totally prepared and matter-of-fact YOU? That means you set the tone – no shame, just age-appropriate, honest, accurate information with some expectations and values tossed in for good measure. 

How do you get to that version of you?

We can help.

If you’re feeling a little hesitant or if you just want someone else to jumpstart the chat for you, There’s no shame in outsourcing some of the science and introductory information. Our on-demand Reproduction class was designed to give children (and parents) the science and medical essentials of sex and reproduction, but it also encourages you to continue the dialogue within the context of your own family values. 

Parents love that we explain everything in medically-accurate yet child-friendly language, and the content creates a strong foundation for those future conversations. 

And because ALL children have questions (really great questions!), we include a downloadable ebook to reinforce what your child learns and to provide our medically-based, mom-approved answers to the most common questions we get from 5th graders. You can watch the class sneak peek here. If you’re a devoted DIYer, we offer lots of other tips that can help prepare you to be the best guide for your children. 

Consider joining our community for the sex talk help, and stick around for the puberty and mental health help! We offer grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you — on topics like this and lots others? Learn More Here.

P.S. Yes, eight is great, but nine is fine, ten is still a win…it’s NEVER too late to start!!