Don’t you hate it when she misses out on something fun or important? 

We worry enough about our daughters’ social media generated FOMO (fear of missing out), but I think there’s a FOHMO (fear of HER missing out) that we parents have, even though we understand that missing out on things is just part of life; they can’t do everything. 

But… 

I want my daughters to have every opportunity to learn, to have fun, to belong, to try new things. And when they miss out, I sometimes find myself feeling disappointed, even a little anxious. 

Is that FOHMO or is it just being a Mama Bear? 

When I worry she’s missing something important, I hear my own anxieties as a nagging voice in my head – “ Will missing that make her feel like an outsider?” “How can she make up for that missed opportunity?” or “What if she doesn’t get another chance to experience that?”

I know – my internal voice is tough!

Obviously, we can “what if…” ourselves into full blown anxiety if we don’t learn to control what we CAN control and let go of what we CAN’T control. 

Even as I raise my third daughter, I find this to be a personal challenge as well as a pretty universal parenting challenge. Don’t we all want to provide as many opportunities as we can to prepare them for a confident, healthy, and bright future? 

When I’m feeling anxious about her missing out on something, I try to stay grounded by doing these two things:

1.) Check my own parenting anxieties against what is truly going to protect and prepare her. Am I anxious because I feel pressure to look good as a parent, or is it because I am honestly concerned that she will suffer significantly? I emphasize significantly because some degree of suffering is inevitable and even necessary in life. That may sound harsh, but if you want to know more, check out our most recent Girlology TV interview on Reducing Anxiety with clinical psychologist, Dr. Cora Ezzell.  

2.) Keep things factual, realistic, and as practical as possible. What are the facts? Are there other opportunities that would provide a similar experience? Is there a different approach? Is it worth the trouble?

It’s a lot to think about, but the more I practice, the faster it happens in my head, and the better prepared I feel to help her (and myself) manage the missing out or let it go. 

So in the vein of things we CAN control, let me exchange my mama bear coat for my white coat and tell you the most important thing you can do right now to keep her from missing out on learning, having fun, and trying new things is to protect her from the things that will make her miss out. 

So, take her to get her flu shot. 

Seriously. It’s that time of year.

Influenza causes more “missing out” than mean girls’ birthday parties! 

 

Become a member of Girlology to have an all-access pass to the support you’ll need to help your child grow up confident and informed!

Get Girlology on google play or in the app store.

Ready to become a Girlology member? Learn More HERE. 

In the coming weeks, more than ever, we need to pay attention to our health – mental and physical. I know you hear that all the time, but I also know that personally, sometimes I have to make a conscious effort to lift my head and DO.THE.THINGS that I know are important (but are so easy to let slide). 

Call it a seasonal reset, but it’s more than just Fall y’all. Election season + flu/RSV/Covid season add more urgency to the effort. 

A couple weeks ago, I sat down and made a list of things I’m committed to (or recommitting to). Four things on my list are so simple and probably have the best return on investment.

✅ I’ve muted or deleted a bunch of accounts on my social media channels and replied STOP to the unwanted political texts. Maybe I’m late to this insight, but when I scroll, I want to be inspired, entertained, or educated, and not feel infuriated, insulted, or incredulous. Keeping politics AND “self-improvement” posts out of my feed is good for my wellbeing right now. As I opt for humor, authenticity, and inspiration, I also find that I’m spending less time scrolling because I feel good, and I move on. When I’m fuming over frustrating content, I tend to spend more time in my head arguing or generating snarky responses – which I rarely send, btw – total waste of time and energy.

✅ I’ve extended my walking route to keep me outside longer each day. Exercise and being outdoors both have significant mental health benefits, and Fall is my favorite season. This one’s a no brainer for me. Spending more time outside watching the season unfold is like a gift. Every day, I discover some lovely surprise – subtle color changes, new Halloween decorations, a pomegranate tree full of fruit — who knew that would even grow in my neighborhood?! When we allow ourselves to be delighted, even by simple things, it can have a big impact on mood and outlook.

I also bought a couple new books on Audible that I’m really excited to listen to, and I only allow myself to listen when I’m walking. It’s my motivation and reward for getting outside to exercise. 

✅ I restocked or replaced the things I rely on to keep my house clean and my family less germy: hand sanitizer (one for each car and each backpack), tissues, cleaning supplies, hand soap (that smells like Fall), air filters. Having plenty of these things on hand and a few fun variations gives me peace of mind. 

✅ I got my flu & Covid vaccines (and made sure my entire family got theirs). Getting sick this time of year can be confusing with Influenza, RSV, and Covid having so many overlapping symptoms. Getting your seasonal vaccines protects you and the people around you and it can reduce the strain on healthcare systems. Plus, nobody likes missing out on Fall fun because they’re sick. Flu before “BOO!” has been a mantra for years, but since it’s already Halloween, just make a plan to get it soon if you haven’t already!

I hope in this confluence of seasons, you’re making the effort to stay healthy and to be your daughters’ greatest influencer when it comes to health and wellness.

Become a member of Girlology to have an all-access pass to the support you’ll need to help your child grow up confident and informed!

Get Girlology on google play or in the app store.

Ready to become a Girlology member? Learn More HERE. 

 I prefer the term “vigilant” over “paranoid,” but I worry about depression – a lot. With 3 daughters, it’s a personal worry. With thousands of female adolescent patients, it’s also a professional worry. 

Why do I worry? 

📌 It’s common. Among teens, 1 in 7 will have a diagnosis of depression, but less than half will get treatment.

📌 It’s tricky. Depression can look different in teens than in adults, and they’re great at camouflaging their symptoms.

📌 Girls are particularly at risk. After puberty, depression is almost 3 times more common in girls than boys.

📌 It shows up early. Among adults with depression or anxiety, over half of them had symptoms by age 14.

And my biggest fear? 😱

It’s not the diagnosis of depression, it’s that the depression goes UNTREATED, because treatments are very effective, especially when started promptly after the onset of symptoms. But if it’s not treated, long-standing depression can lead to other serious health problems and lifelong struggles.

So the obvious question is, “Can we PREVENT depression in the first place?” 

There’s actually some good news. 

• When we equip children with emotional coping skills, mindfulness practices, and mental wellness awareness, we can reduce the occurrence of both anxiety and depression. Girlology has  lots of tips and discussions in the app to guide you and help her with those skills.

• When we give girls a new way to think about their body without defaulting to the way it looks as a source of happiness, we  can help them build a foundation that prioritizes their  experiences and abilities over appearances. That helps reduce body dissatisfaction which is a big trigger for anxiety in many girls. Watch for Girlology’s new body image class for girls – it will do exactly that (arriving Oct 1 for members!).

• When we destigmatize  mental health care is also a way to reduce the consequences of mental health struggles. Make sure she knows that caring for her mental health and getting help when there’s a problem is just as important and necessary as taking care of her body and getting treatments when she’s physically sick. 

Obviously, genetics matter, and some things are just not in our control, however there are definitely some steps you can take to protect her mental health now and in the future. This tip will get you started.

As vigilant moms, we need to be well-prepared to recognize depression symptoms and know what to DO (or not do) to support her, get it treated, and help our girls thrive. 

Become a member of Girlology to have an all-access pass to the support you’ll need to help your child grow up confident and informed!

Get Girlology on google play or in the app store.

Ready to become a Girlology member? Learn More HERE. 

by Cara Reeves, PhD, Girlology’s Director of Mental Wellness

I admit it; I’m obsessed with the new Inside Out 2 movie. As a psychologist, I have to say that the creators (Dave Holstein, Kelsey Mann, Megan LeFauve) NAILED IT! The story gives a perfect depiction of the complexity, unpredictability and intensity of teenage emotions. We can all learn from it. 

If you haven’t seen it yet (SPOILER ALERT), the movie picks up as the main character, Riley (now 13), transitions into puberty – bringing along a host of new, strong, mercurial emotions: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment and Ennui (boredom).  

The new emotions quickly take over Riley’s mental “headquarters” and wreak havoc in her life at the worst possible time – during a three day tryout for her high school ice hockey team. Not only is she juggling some pretty challenging friendship dynamics and vying for a position on the team, she is also trying to understand the new, BIG, feelings that are bubbling up AND trying to figure out what to do about them. These new feelings make her question herself. Do they mean she isn’t the person she thought she was? 

The storyline is an INSIDE look (hence the name INSIDE OUT) at what goes on in the teenage mind.  

Adolescence is a time of constant change and growth.  As soon as kids (and their parents) think they’ve figured things out and settled into a groove….

WHOOSH!!!!

…the rug gets pulled out from under them, and they are back to figuring things out again. 

As these emotional shifts happen, kids don’t understand why they are SOOO upset about a bad hair day or SOOO nervous about a dance recital or SOOO mad at their brother. The movie does a great job highlighting this internal struggle as emotions quickly take over and overwhelm unsuspecting Riley.  

As a psychologist, I love the visual representation of the different emotions. They are PART of Riley, but they don’t define who Riley IS as a person (that’s actually her Sense of Self). 

Particularly notable is the way the movie shows that the RIGHT amount of emotion can serve an important purpose, but TOO MUCH for TOO LONG can create a problem. I do, however, wish that there was more of an emphasis on how Riley learns to manage her emotions. What if her Sense of Self had been the main character who manages the emotions? Ah, but maybe I’m moving into therapy mode and should leave the role-selection process to the creators.

As a mom, I love that the movie reminded me how fickle, intense and disorienting teenage emotions can be and that I shouldn’t get too worked up about it (that’s my OWN anxiety taking the helm and planning for the worst case scenario).  Rather, I should try to enjoy the roller coaster, be present, and appreciate the highs, while at the same time be a steady and supportive presence during the twists, turns and lows. 

Another crucial lesson for parents: we cannot figure this out for them!  Our kids have to figure out how to manage their big emotions on their own. Our job is to allow them to have new life experiences (Riley’s parents allowed her to go to ice hockey tryouts even in the midst of some super intense teen angst), but be a safe place for them when they are in need of love, guidance and support.  

There are so many great reminders and lessons throughout the movie. Here are a few more of the highlights:

😀 All emotions (even the uncomfortable ones) serve a purpose!

😭 It’s not good to bottle uncomfortable emotions and hide from bad memories.  

😟 You can’t expect to be happy ALL the time….that just isn’t normal or healthy!

😳 If big emotions stay around too long it can be a problem, so it is important to learn how to manage them.

😋 Your sense of self (who you are) changes/evolves over time as you gain new experiences, memories and emotions.  

🫣 Anxiety is future-oriented, has a lot of energy and can be VERY misleading!

I highly recommend seeing the movie with your kids)! It offers some great discussion springboards and essential lessons to help us all raise emotionally healthy teens (and even gain some personal insights to help).  

For more great tips and insights from Dr. Cara Reeves, Girlology’s Director of Mental Health, become a Girlology member. Did you know Girlology offers grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on ALL.THE.TOPICS from mental health to puberty, periods, skin care, body image and more! Learn More Here.

As parents, we work hard to find the right pediatrician for our babies – one that we trust to care for our precious littles and support us as parents. But as our littles become bigs – it may be time to reassess the fit for your family. Lots of wonderful pediatricians transition to teen care beautifully, but sometimes your child may deserve a different provider. 

When my daughter hit 12, and definitely by 13, I expected her to have some “alone time” with her doctor, but the visits went by with me in the room. Honestly, it didn’t bother me too much. I mean, she had ME. I was talking with her about ALL.THE.THINGS, and I’m pretty sure her pediatrician knew that..  

But at the 14 year old visit (high school, right?), her doctor asked her all the questions about depression, sexual activity, and substance use IN FRONT OF ME. 🙅🏻‍♀️😶 

I have to say I was not happy. As a teen, my daughter deserves to have confidential conversations with a doctor SHE trusts. Ignoring the importance of confidentiality is not the way to build trust with tweens and teens. And trust ME – they need as many trusted adults as they can find (have I said trust enough?).

Many parents might believe they SHOULD be present for those questions, but we know in adolescent medicine that it’s not a good idea. We’ve all had too many discussions with absolutely great kids who were not being honest with their parent about things like vaping, alcohol, sex, or even their depression and anxiety symptoms.

As a mom, I know we don’t want to think about our kids hiding their risky behaviors or deep feelings from us, but sometimes they just do.

They don’t want to disappoint us. 

They don’t want to get in trouble. 

They don’t want another lecture.

They don’t think it’s a big deal.

But here’s the thing about confidential medical care: when a healthcare provider ensures confidentiality and can have a heart to heart talk with them, they open up and are amazingly honest. And I’ve never met a healthcare provider for teens that wasn’t dead set on helping them follow a path toward safety and wellness. We’re all on the same team. (Btw, if a young person discloses thoughts or behaviors that are life-threatening for themself or others, doctors are required to report that to a parent and/or the appropriate authorities). 

So – back to my story… 

I asked my daughter if she thought most teens give honest answers when they were asked those questions in front of a parent. 

She just 😂🤣🤭.

So, for her 15 year old check up, I took her to her new pediatrician. Her new doc spent a chunk of time with us together, gathering medical history and asking about my concerns, then she said BUH BYE 👋🏼 to me, and whisked my girl off for a separate chat, making her feel confident about her confidentiality.

On the way home, of course I asked what they talked about. 

Her reply? 

“That was between me and Dr Natalie. I don’t have to tell you.” (btw – that’s SO 15!). 

Perfect answer. I trust that I’ll be informed if there are serious concerns, but now, I know my teen has a trusted healthcare provider she can confide in, and I know she’ll get advice that is focused on helping her stay safe, informed, and healthy.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. ✅

Did you know Girlology offers grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on ALL.THE.TOPICS she should be talking with her doctor about! Learn More Here.

Those moods. As a parent, you watch them morph as your daughter cartwheels into adolescence and then slams the door in your face. 

Sometimes she’s her “usual” self. 😊 Sometimes she’s so …  👹 🐍 🥊 🎭 🛸 🗯 🤷🏾‍♀️.

There’s no doubt it worries you. We hear it all the time, “Is she just moody or could it be depression?”

YES to both. 

✅ Yes, she’s moody; bigger moods and rapid emotional surges 🎢 are a normal part of adolescent brain development (not just because of hormones!). I’ll be talking about that in an upcoming blog. She needs to learn how to manage her difficult emotions.

✅ Yes, it could be depression because after puberty, depression rates soar, especially for girls; we need to be vigilant and do what we can to prevent or help depression, right? 

Cue: Self Care. 

I’m not talking about cliche “treat yourself” indulgences.💅🏼🛍 True self care is taking the time to do the things that make us our best selves —  like human connections, healthy habits, taking time to reflect and plan. Self care is a powerful tool in managing moods, rising out of a mild depression, and maintaining health on a holistic level. 

In this tip Dr. Trish gives you 5 concrete and actionable ways to counter depression by guiding her toward self care. Nothing’s a quick fix, but establishing these habits can support her health long term. 

At the same time, understand the warning signs of depression because for some girls, there is no amount of self care that can prevent it or fix it.

So, back to the question all parents seem to ask at some point:

Is she just moody, or is she depressed?

Moody – grumpy, irritable, angry, crying, complaining – you know what “moody” looks like. A “depressed mood” can be part of that. If it’s normal adolescent moodiness, the “bad mood” doesn’t last long, and there are some “good moods” thrown in as well. If something fun comes along, she’s up for it. She’ll get up, get out, laugh, and participate in the stuff she usually likes to participate in. 

Depressed – can look a lot like moody, but it persists for more than a couple of weeks and begins to creep into other parts of her life to affect her sleep, activities, relationships, school work, energy level, and even her physical health. 

To add confusion, teens can be savvy about trying to get better on their own, so they may seek activities to “lift their mood.” That can look like spending more time with friends, thrill seeking, sexual behaviors, substance use. Contrary to the stereotype, a depressed teen isn’t always alone. Instead, she can actually look desperate for social connection and attention. For girls, in particular, they often seek other depressed peers and reinforce each other’s problems, sometimes intensifying the symptoms.

If your daughter is clearly having some normal adolescent moodiness, we feel you. We recommend you practice your deep breathing, calm responses, and maintaining your sense of humor. 

If you’re not sure her moods fall within the “normal” category, or if she has any other symptoms of depression, speak with her doctor or a counselor right away. 

There are many ways to successfully treat depression through talking therapy, medications, or both. With treatment, she can expect to feel better in a few weeks to months. Without treatment, depression is likely to worsen, last longer, and recur later in life. 

Remember that depression is a medical diagnosis that causes changes in the brain structure and chemistry. It is neither a weakness nor a parenting failure. 

Never ever hesitate to seek help.

 

 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

Recently, I found something helpful – really helpful. I landed on some work by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D., a health psychologist who is re-engineering the way we should think about stress. She does a beautiful job translating neuroscience research into practical tips for health. And since right now is a perfect time to practice stress management, I wanted to share two interesting ideas.

If you rethink the way you see stress, it can change your health.

We’ve taught for decades that stress makes you sick. Newer neuroscience research is finding that your mindset matters. Stress only makes you sick IF you believe it’s bad for you. In fact, if you see stress as something that helps you prepare for challenges ahead, it actually creates health. If we change the way we think about stress, we can actually change our body’s response to it.

Stress creates a natural need for connection with other humans

This point is super cool and taught me something new about oxytocin. You may know oxytocin as the “cuddle” hormone; it’s released when we nurse our baby or when we are wrapped in a warm hug. 

What I didn’t realize is that oxytocin is also a stress hormone (as much as adrenaline is), and it offers natural anti-inflammatory effects – therefore it’s healing. Its release prompts us to seek support from others. When we connect with others, we get even more oxytocin, and that helps us heal faster. Through another study, she showed how caring for others creates resilience to the  health conditions typically related to stress. 

Dr. McGonigal sums it up best in two sentences:

“When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage. When you choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience.”

The world is stressful right now for all of us, but especially for young people who have brains with a heightened sensitivity to fear and worry. It can help us all to know that we have some control over how we allow the stress to affect us. As your child’s biggest health influencer, you can help them reframe their mindset around stress (while working on it yourself). 

• How is stress preparing us for something ahead? 
• How are we connecting with others to help us de-stress? 
• Can we explore ways to care for others? 

These are simple and proven steps that can help you to help your children grow resilience. Have you seen these things work in your own life? Sharing our stories of overcoming hardships and stress also help us connect with each other and grow through it  – together.

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists outlining on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

October means it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I want you to know that your daughters are more aware than you know, and sometimes it makes them anxious. 😥

They take in messaging about the signs of breast cancer, like knots or lumps, and they worry — especially when they have those breast “buds” that show up as hard knots beneath the nipple. 

We know they worry because we get hundreds of questions from them every month. And when we talk with girls in-person, we witness their sigh of relief once we explain that those tender, hard knots that “bud” are normal and not cancer. 

If we want to reduce girls’ anxiety, it’s important to help them worry less about their bodies. So in this breast focused month, we want to raise awareness that girls worry a lot about their breasts and they deserve answers. 

Want to know what worries them most? Below are actual questions sent to us from girls. These represent some of the more common themes they worry about. We’ve presented them word for word. Somebody please help them with punctuation and capitalization 🙃. Of course, we’ve provided links to answers you can share with her from our library. 

If you’re not yet a Girlology member, you can listen to a live discussion Dr. Trish and I had about these questions and more on Facebook HERE. We also have a helpful article for her HERE.

 Ready for the Questions?

Q: “do i need to wear a bra? how do i ask for one? HELP! im 12” 

A: Do I have to wear a bra?

 

Q: “Am i supposed to check my breasts every month and how do i do that?”

A: When should she start self breast exams? 

 

Q: “can i eat anything to make them grow or do any type of work out? please help me i don’t want to look like a pancake none of my tops fit me because i have nothing there!!!!”

A: That question and other commons ones about size are covered in this segment of our on-demand video class, “What to Expect When Your Breasts Bud.”

 

Q: “I have a knot under my nipple and i’m scared its cancer and how do i tell my mum?”

A: Should I worry about a knot under her nipple? 

 

Q: “If the bud is gone will they still grow?”

A: This one’s also covered in this class.

 

Q: “I’m 12 and already a 34D it’s really embarrassing at school (7th grade) because of boys. My mom said if they get bigger I might need a reduction which I’m scared about.”

A: Help for girls with larger breasts

I think we could all use a little less worry in our lives, and there are a LOT more questions like these. Help your daughter get the information she needs to feel confident about her changing body. Girlology is here to guide and support you.

One more thing… if you’re over 40 and haven’t had a mammogram, make that appointment, and talk with your doctor about your individualized breast cancer risk assessment. That will help your daughter worry less about YOU (remember, they’re more aware than you realize)! 💝

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists outlining on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

The self consciousness that arrives during puberty for almost every girl isn’t just related to her changing body. Her changing brain heightens her awareness of how others perceive her. Are they judging her? Most likely, she thinks they are, even when they’re not.

A friend recently shared with me that her daughter was struggling with a school assignment, and when mom suggested she ask a classmate or talk with her teacher, she had a list of excuses —

• She didn’t want to bother anyone.
• She didn’t want to look stupid
• She didn’t want them to think she wasn’t paying attention when the assignment was discussed.
• She was worried she would feel judged and ultimately embarrassed.

 

Why is asking for help so hard? 

We’ve had to address this same struggle in our own home, and one thing I shared with my daughter that seemed to resonate was this: 

 

It’s important to remember that asking someone else to help you, doesn’t make them judge you; it makes them care more about you. When they have personally invested their energy into helping you, they want to see you succeed and they are more likely to support you.

This is similar to something the business world calls the IKEA effect. Basically, people place a higher value on things they personally help create. It’s also likely they care more about people they personally help. Maybe this resonated for her because she and I recently assembled a pain-in-the-arse dresser from IKEA that we both excessively adore now.

If your daughter doesn’t fall for the business psychology explanation – maybe she’ll listen to the GOAT* – Simone Biles, *Greatest Of All Times gymnast who spoke to the national meeting of the American Academy of Pediatrics after withdrawing from the Olympic finals a couple years ago.

If anyone can relate to being fearful of judgment and humiliation, it’s Simone. But she has bravely asked for help on more than one occasion and learned to express her needs honestly.

 

She asked pediatricians to share this message with their patients:

“It’s scary speaking up at a younger age, but if you start telling your parent or peers what you are going through, they can understand and can get you help quicker so you won’t have to struggle alone… As humans , we don’t want to be a burden and want to figure it out on our own, but at the end of the day, sometimes it’s not possible and we have to ask for help, and that’s OK.”

 

How did it go when the GOAT asked for help?  

“…For my decision in Tokyo, I expected more backlash, but what I got was an overwhelming outpouring of support and love and understanding…”

And just look at where she is now. She got the help she needed, and has made an incredible comeback (if you haven’t seen – she’s crushing it in competition again)! 

So, if your child is resistant to speaking up or asking for help, it may be a temporary hiccup that resolves with a little pep talk and support. A bit of self-consciousness is a normal part of adolescent development that waxes and wanes in different situations.

However, if your child is not able to participate in her usual activities because of an outright fear of being judged or humiliated — she may have full blown social anxiety which definitely should activate a call to your pediatrician or a child & adolescent psychologist.

We have a lot more content on anxiety including a deeper discussion HERE that offers parenting tips to help her overcome social discomfort, and a tool HERE to help determine whether she has normal anxieties or may have an anxiety disorder.  

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

Have you ever considered lowering expectations to avoid disappointment? 

Guilty. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I’ve not only thought it, I’m pretty sure I’ve said it out loud – to myself and to my children. 🤦🏻‍♀️

 

But what if I told you that when you expect the best outcome, it is scientifically more likely to happen. 

Not by coincidence, 🎲

but according to science backed by numerous well-designed research studies.🔬

 

The power of suggestion is a real phenomenon. 

 

Once we expect something to happen, our thoughts, behaviors, and responses actually work behind the scenes (i.e. in our sub-conscience) to make that thing happen. 

 

Think something is going to be painful? You will experience more pain. 

Think something is going to be difficult? You will make it more difficult for yourself.

Think you are going to excel at a task? You probably will.

Think you’re going to experience side effects of a medicine? You probably will, even if you’ve been given a placebo.

 

The brain is powerful beyond what we understand. 🧠

 

Recent research from the field of Psychology suggests this happens because of our “response expectancies.” Once we expect something, our subsequent thoughts and behaviors will actually help bring that outcome into being.

 It’s the power of positive thinking. Affirmations. Setting intentions. Metaphysics. We see it all over the self-help world because there’s really something to it.

To me, The most interesting thing out of this study also showed that it’s not just about SELF help. It’s also clear that the suggestions we communicate to others (openly or subconsciously) have a big impact. 

 

Do you expect her to be difficult? She’ll be more difficult. 😡

Do you expect her to be kind? Watch her kindness grow. 💗

Do you see her as capable? Watch her skills grow. 💪🏽

 

We all have to be mindful of what we suggest to and expect from our children. 

 

If we can get better at suggesting success and wellness and responsibility (and believing it ourselves), their thoughts, behaviors and outcomes will be more likely to follow that path.

 

Want a practical application? Flu shot season is approaching. Do you anticipate that she’ll feel ill after her flu shot? 😷🤒🤧

 If you do, watch this tip, and suggest to her that she will be just fine! 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More