by Cara Reeves, PhD, Girlology's Director of Mental Wellness
I admit it; I’m obsessed with the new Inside Out 2 movie. As a psychologist, I have to say that the creators (Dave Holstein, Kelsey Mann, Megan LeFauve) NAILED IT! The story gives a perfect depiction of the complexity, unpredictability and intensity of teenage emotions. We can all learn from it.
If you haven’t seen it yet (SPOILER ALERT), the movie picks up as the main character, Riley (now 13), transitions into puberty – bringing along a host of new, strong, mercurial emotions: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment and Ennui (boredom).
The new emotions quickly take over Riley’s mental “headquarters” and wreak havoc in her life at the worst possible time – during a three day tryout for her high school ice hockey team. Not only is she juggling some pretty challenging friendship dynamics and vying for a position on the team, she is also trying to understand the new, BIG, feelings that are bubbling up AND trying to figure out what to do about them. These new feelings make her question herself. Do they mean she isn’t the person she thought she was?
The storyline is an INSIDE look (hence the name INSIDE OUT) at what goes on in the teenage mind.
Adolescence is a time of constant change and growth. As soon as kids (and their parents) think they’ve figured things out and settled into a groove….
WHOOSH!!!!
…the rug gets pulled out from under them, and they are back to figuring things out again.
As these emotional shifts happen, kids don’t understand why they are SOOO upset about a bad hair day or SOOO nervous about a dance recital or SOOO mad at their brother. The movie does a great job highlighting this internal struggle as emotions quickly take over and overwhelm unsuspecting Riley.
As a psychologist, I love the visual representation of the different emotions. They are PART of Riley, but they don’t define who Riley IS as a person (that’s actually her Sense of Self).
Particularly notable is the way the movie shows that the RIGHT amount of emotion can serve an important purpose, but TOO MUCH for TOO LONG can create a problem. I do, however, wish that there was more of an emphasis on how Riley learns to manage her emotions. What if her Sense of Self had been the main character who manages the emotions? Ah, but maybe I’m moving into therapy mode and should leave the role-selection process to the creators.
As a mom, I love that the movie reminded me how fickle, intense and disorienting teenage emotions can be and that I shouldn’t get too worked up about it (that’s my OWN anxiety taking the helm and planning for the worst case scenario). Rather, I should try to enjoy the roller coaster, be present, and appreciate the highs, while at the same time be a steady and supportive presence during the twists, turns and lows.
Another crucial lesson for parents: we cannot figure this out for them! Our kids have to figure out how to manage their big emotions on their own. Our job is to allow them to have new life experiences (Riley’s parents allowed her to go to ice hockey tryouts even in the midst of some super intense teen angst), but be a safe place for them when they are in need of love, guidance and support.
There are so many great reminders and lessons throughout the movie. Here are a few more of the highlights:
😀 All emotions (even the uncomfortable ones) serve a purpose!
😭 It’s not good to bottle uncomfortable emotions and hide from bad memories.
😟 You can’t expect to be happy ALL the time….that just isn’t normal or healthy!
😳 If big emotions stay around too long it can be a problem, so it is important to learn how to manage them.
😋 Your sense of self (who you are) changes/evolves over time as you gain new experiences, memories and emotions.
🫣 Anxiety is future-oriented, has a lot of energy and can be VERY misleading!
I highly recommend seeing the movie with your kids)! It offers some great discussion springboards and essential lessons to help us all raise emotionally healthy teens (and even gain some personal insights to help).
For more great tips and insights from Dr. Cara Reeves, Girlology’s Director of Mental Health, become a Girlology member. Did you know Girlology offers grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on ALL.THE.TOPICS from mental health to puberty, periods, skin care, body image and more! Learn More Here.
