😂Whether you’re watching our on-demand puberty program with her from the comfort of your couch or you’re attending an in-person Girlology program offered by your local Girlologist, I want to share some insider information.

There will be plenty of facts dropped and jokes floated, but do you best to pay attention to the “feel good” moments.

After teaching our girls’ puberty programs to thousands of girls and their caregivers for 15+ years, these are the moments I love to watch. Most often, they show up in facial expressions or body language, but sometimes you’ll find them in their laughter or whispers. 

So if you’re ready to get started with our Level 3 playlist that introduces her to the basic puberty topics or you’ve diving right into the our full puberty class with her, keep an eye out for some of these things. I hope they warm your ❤️ and remind you that you’re doing a great job by making sure she’s informed and prepared. 

• the way she reluctantly walks in (or agrees to watch), but quickly becomes comfortable. 😂

   

   

• how truly curious she is about her body and how it works. 🤔

   

   

• those sighs of relief as she discovers she’s normal and not alone. 😅

   

   

• her “oh!” and “aha!” moments when she “gets” how period products work. 💡

   

   

• The giggles that bubble up as she realizes these chats don’t have to be so serious! 😆

   

   

• the nods and knowing glances she shoots you as we chat about friendships and moods. 😏

   

   

• the emotional connection you feel during this shared experience. 😥

   

   

• and the way she leans into you or reaches out for a sweet touch that lets you know this is meaningful. 💕

Sharing this class truly creates connection. It also serves as an ice-breaker and a springboard for so many future chats. We hear from parents all the time that they watched a class with their daughter, and it strengthened their connection because they were talking more comfortably and frequently about changing bodies and minds. When that happens, you are way more likely to become her trusted go-to, and that is so protective.

So watch for the feel-good moments for YOU, and take comfort in knowing SHE will enter puberty and adolescence with greater confidence knowing what’s ahead.

You’re doing a great job!

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

It’s normal to feel anxiety rising when you look at your daughter and realize she’s moving quickly through childhood toward puberty. Maybe one of her friends is developing, or maybe she tosses out some attitude that feels unfamiliar and prickly. Or maybe, she just put on her bathing suit for the first time this year and omg, what has been going on under those bulky winter clothes? 

There’s no reason to panic, but there are lots of good reasons to prepare – yourself first, THEN, your girl.

Part of helping our daughters navigate puberty and adolescence with confidence and knowledge is to do our own work. Here’s the assignment:

1. Shift parenting gears. 

Parenting toddlers and young children requires a lot of physical stamina. It can be exhausting to constantly scan the physical environment for hazards, keep her entertained with developmentally-beneficial  activities, schedule and supervise playdates, answer all her questions. As you shift toward parenting pre-teens and teens, it’s physically easier, but requires a ton more mental energy. Instead of watching HER every move, you have to start watching YOUR OWN thoughts, judgments, and responses, all while encouraging her to be more independent, advocate for her needs, learn from her mistakes, and think about her future. The most useful skills for parenting tweens and teens become staying calm, responding with curiosity instead of judgment, modeling healthy relationships, and being generous with opportunities to problem solve instead of doing all the problem solving for her.  

2. Prepare her without overwhelming her.

You’ve spent her whole life preparing her for what’s ahead, whether it was her her first day of school or her daily routine to get ready for bed. You know she does better when she knows what to expect and hears your reassurances that make it less scary or overwhelming. She needs the same things as she heads into puberty. What’s next for her body? When will it happen? How can she care for it? What can she do to manage her big feelings?  Believe it or not, preparing her for puberty and adolescence is no different than preparing her for anything else in her life, and you’re the best one to help her feel ready.

3. Learn strategies that support and nurture the ever-changing emotional and mental health landscape of a budding adolescent.

Every generation of adolescents has faced trends and cultural influences that threaten their mental health. Today, those challenges are bigger than ever as evidenced by the current mental health crisis among teens – girls especially. Parenting through puberty is tough, but it’s best when YOU feel supported with accessible, relatable resources and expert guides. If we want to shift the current tide of declining mental health among girls, we have to focus on prevention. Since over half of all mental health disorders among adults begin by age 14, puberty is the perfect time for our preventative efforts.

Great. but HOW do you DO all of that?

It depends on where this journey is starting for you (and her).

If you’re here early in the game, my best advice is download our free ebook, Be Her Best Guide (a Pre-Puberty Guide for Proactive Parents). It will start you on the right path with preparation tips, facts, how-to advice, and answers to common questions.  

If puberty is already underway in your home, then I invite you to join our community to check out our other content. We offer hundreds of tips & discussions for parents and engaging classes for girls through every age and stage of puberty and adolescence; and I promise, you’re not too late to start. 

We know it takes a village, and as physicians dedicated to girls’ health and wellness, and moms of daughters, our passion is to empower girls and the people who care for them with accurate and helpful health & wellness information that helps grow their confidence.

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

As a physician for adolescent girls and young women (and as an 80s girl who grew up feeling all the pressure to be thin) eating disorders have always been on my radar. They are common, serious, and tricky to recognize and treat. Over the years, I’ve been involved in the diagnosis and treatment of many anorexic girls. I’m as confident as physician can be in understanding the risk factors, prevention strategies, warning signs, and diagnosis. 

So when I ended up with 3 daughters, I was pretty sure anorexia was one health condition my girls would not have to deal with. I raised them with body positivity and confidence-growing experiences. I fed them mostly-healthy-but-not-restrictive nutrition. They had open-access to ice cream and other treats in the house. I wasn’t worried. 

Until I realized that my daughter was anorexic.

In retrospect, there were some vague warning signs. I noticed weight loss, but she had been sick, recently diagnosed with Celiac disease which meant she had to remove all gluten (bread and pasta – her favorites) from her diet. Her friends and their mothers noticed her weight loss and, like so many women and girls, kept telling her how great she looked. 

We talked openly about getting enough nutrition as we learned the ins and outs of her new gluten-free diet. She assured me she was fine, but some of her behaviors were beginning to change. She was keeping her room immaculate. She was unusually quiet — or explosive. When she sat at the kitchen table, she kept her legs bouncing in constant motion. I remember noticing her boney spine at the kitchen counter one day, but then telling myself in total denial, “Nah, it can’t be…she’s just been sick. She’s not the anorexic type. She’s always been so confident and happy.” But instinctively, there was doubt and worry. I found myself in a sideways glance, eyes squinting as I questioned my own internal voice. It finally struck me. My daughter was anorexic. 

How did I let this happen? I felt like an idiot. I felt like a horrible mother. I questioned my clinical skills. 

Without detailing two of the most difficult years of my life, let me tell you a few personal insights I gained during her recovery (and my therapy) and since then:

• It can happen to anyone in any family. 
• It is not caused by a parenting failure. 
• Early recognition and aggressive treatment are critical to recovery.
• Treatment is hard.
• Families do hard things.
• Full recovery is possible.

In the time since we faced this in our family, more research has improved what we understand about anorexia and other eating disorders.

Here are some facts you should know about anorexia (we also offer an on-demand video class, Understanding Anorexia, HERE):

👉🏼 The causes are complex and a combination of genetics, her environment, and weight loss triggers. Check out this video tip for details on the risk factors. 

👉🏾 It is a brain-based illness that can have lasting effects on physical growth, brain function, and mental health. 

👉🏽 There is no stereotype to identify those who will develop anorexia – all genders, sizes, shapes, races are susceptible, but most of the time, it starts in childhood or early adolescence (and currently, it’s starting at younger ages than ever before).

👉🏼 She does not need to believe she is fat or have a distorted body image to have anorexia.

👉🏾 Over ⅓ of kids diagnosed with anorexia today are overweight or obese, but their diagnosis is often delayed because our society is fat-phobic and thinks weight loss is always good for overweight kids – no matter how they lose the weight. 

👉🏽 Early recognition and treatment increase the possibility of full recovery.

👉🏼 The primary treatment is food, not medications. 

👉🏾 The anorexic patient’s brain is not functioning normally because of malnutrition. We are learning more and more about the importance of nutrition in the way the brain develops and functions. The brain cannot recover (including emotions, decision making, insight) until it is fed appropriately. Until she recovers, she cannot make rational decisions that involve eating habits or food.

👉🏽 The most effective treatments are family-based and occur within the home (not in a hospital). Therapists and nutritionists experienced in treating eating disorders provide guidance and support, but the family does most of the work. 

👉🏼 If anorexia affects your family or a friends’ family, there should be no shame or embarrassment. This disease is no different than any other for which we eagerly offer empathy and support. 

👉🏾 If you have concerns about anorexia and your child, please speak with her doctor as soon as possible!

If you’ve never considered that question – I’m so sorry for even putting it in your head. Unfortunately, I hear it too often, so I want to give it a thoughtful answer. 

First, let me address WHY this question comes up pretty regularly: 

As moms, we already have plenty of worries. We’re fiercely protective, and any threat to our children’s well-being puts us in mama-bear mode.

As women, for too many centuries, society has [wrongly] centered our value around our ability to reproduce. We have internalized that message for generations, and instinctively, that makes any threat to our reproductive health feel especially terrifying.

So when fear or shame enter conversations about products related to our reproductive system, we go on high alert. 🚨

Marketers totally take advantage of these factors. They suggest that our vulvas are “dirty,” and then tell us their product will “fix it.” They tell us the products we use are dangerous, but that their product is “safer,” “cleaner,” or “more natural” (in marketing, none of these labels require any proof). Similarly, anyone aiming for viral attention on social media can do the same. These messages get our attention despite almost always being downright lies or unsubstantiated claims. 

I admit it; I’m vulnerable, too. I have three daughters. I provide reproductive healthcare for girls and women. I am motivated to get this right, so I’ve done a lot of research. I’ve talked with microbiologists, toxicologists, and know more about the manufacturing of period products than a lot of gynecologists. So, let me step off my anti-fear-mongering soapbox, and provide answers to some of the common questions we hear: 

Are there toxic chemicals in pads, tampons, menstrual cups or period underwear?

Everything is made of “chemicals.” And all chemicals can be toxic – even water (yes, it’s a chemical). So without advanced degrees in organic chemistry and physiology, it’s really difficult as a consumer to determine which chemicals should be of concern. When it comes to disposable pads and tampons which get the most “toxic” attention, they are primarily made of cotton or rayon (did you know rayon comes from wood pulp?), and they have other ingredients that have been thoroughly tested and deemed safe. Many of the ingredients are things used in other products we use and trust, like band-aids and diapers. 

Specifically, the chemicals that concern me most in personal care items are classified as “endocrine disruptors.” They are commonly found in certain plastics and many fragrances (even natural lavender oil). The most popular pads and tampons (including the pad liners and tampon plastic applicators) do not have those types of plastics in them. So my general rule is to avoid any scented products, and consider them safe.

Who makes sure they’re safe? 

All period products are regulated by the FDA as medical devices. That means ALL period products sold on the shelves of your local stores have been through a detailed process of research, development, safety testing, and ongoing monitoring for harmful effects. Those products also undergo routine testing that specifically monitors ingredients that have caused concern in the past like dioxins and chlorine bleach (which you won’t find in any products today).

Large consumer product companies spend billions of dollars on research and development. I have had opportunities to consult for global brands like Always and Tampax (no, they are not paying me nor sponsoring this content). I have talked with members of their giant team of experts and PhD researchers who are fiercely dedicated to science and data. They do important research that not only improves the products we use, but advances health science. And heck, many of them are women and/or parents, and they trust these products for themselves and their families. If my favorite toxicologist believes they’re safe, so do I. 

Aren’t organic pads and tampons safer? 

There are some things I use or consume that I prefer to be organic, but pads and tampons aren’t on that list. Here’s why. Organic cotton and conventional cotton both require a process using scalding hot water to remove the natural waxy coating (where pesticide and herbicide residue is held). That super hot process removes pesticides & herbicides so well, that they are no longer detectable even in non-organic cotton. Furthermore, there are zero studies to indicate that organic period products are healthier or safer for humans. All tampons (organic or conventional) carry the same risk for toxic shock syndrome, which is by far the most concerning, although very rare, tampon-related risk.  

Can pads or tampons cause ovarian cysts, endometriosis, or other reproductive health problems?

The reproductive system is complex, and there is no identifiable single cause of any diseases or abnormalities. Yet, it’s human nature to identify the root cause of problems we experience and point fingers at what we believe to be the cause. A recent case in point is the viral Tik Tok claim that titanium dioxide used as a whitener in tampon strings caused a young woman’s ovarian cysts. Period products simply can’t do that; it’s not biologically possible. Furthermore, titanium dioxide is a whitening ingredient used in toothpaste, sunscreens, and many foods. The amount in tampon strings is tiny compared to other uses, and it has never been considered unsafe. Just because we can identify something we did or used when we developed a problem, doesn’t mean it’s the cause of the problem. In science and medicine, we say correlation is not causation. Determining the actual root cause of a health problem is much more complicated than just relating it to a random event.

Perspective matters. 

At some point, we have to accept that everything we consume and everything we do carries risks. Some are more serious than others. Riding in a car is far more dangerous than the potential risks associated with the regulated consumer products we use on a daily (or monthly) basis. 

As mama-bears and concerned consumers, we should absolutely continue to pay attention, but it’s critical that we and our daughters figure out who to believe, understand where the claims come from, and stop getting our health information from random social media accounts. That’s the best way to fight fear-mongering, protect our kids, and prepare them to be smart consumers.

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you through all things puberty and adolescence. Our doctor-moms cover topics like this and lots others! Learn More HERE.