One afternoon when I was driving carpool, my daughter’s friend was telling us about how much she enjoys running cross country. She listed several things that make it her favorite sport—being outside in nature, running with friends, getting exercise—but one of those things was “and I don’t have my period during cross country season. It’s great!“

To which the other three girls in the car reacted with jealous comments that they might join cross country for that!

As an ob-gyn, I wanted nothing more than a giant red flag to wave around that car. I knew I had to chat with her mom and the cross country coach—and ultimately the entire team—about something called RED-S.

Here’s why.

Her Period Is Actually a Vital Sign

I get it. Periods can be inconvenient, messy, and sometimes uncomfortable. But it’s really important to understand that having a regular menstrual cycle is actually one of the best indicators that her body has enough energy to do all the amazing things it needs to do—including building strong bones, maintaining a strong immune system, and yes, performing well in sports.

When her period stops or becomes irregular during intense training, it’s not a perk. It’s her body waving a red flag that says, “Hey! I don’t have enough fuel to keep everything running!“

What Is RED-S?

RED-S stands for Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport. It’s what happens when athletes don’t eat enough calories to support both their training AND all the other things their bodies need energy for—like growing, thinking, healing, and having periods.

Think of it this way: The body is like a phone. If it’s constantly being used all day but only charged to 20%, eventually it’s going to shut down some functions to conserve battery. The body does the same thing when it doesn’t get enough “charge” (fuel in the form of calories). It starts shutting down things it considers “non-essential”—and unfortunately, the reproductive system is one of the first to be affected.

The Three Big Problems

When we first started recognizing this pattern in female athletes, we called it the “Female Athlete Triad” because it involved three interconnected problems:

1. Not eating enough for activity level – Sometimes this is intentional (trying to stay lean for a sport), and sometimes it’s unintentional (just not realizing how much fuel she actually needs). Most active teen girls need at least 2,000-2,400 calories per day, and athletes need even more. 
2. Missing or irregular periods – When the body doesn’t have enough energy, it saves energy by shutting down the hormones that control the menstrual cycle. 
3. Weak bones – Those same hormones (especially estrogen) are also what help build strong bones. When estrogen levels are low and periods stop, girls are not building bone density during the exact years when they’re supposed to be. This means stress fractures now and possibly osteoporosis as early as young adulthood. 

The Red Flags

How do you know if your daughter or someone you care about might have RED-S? Look for these warning signs:

• Missing periods or very irregular cycles
• Frequent injuries, especially stress fractures
• Always feeling tired or run-down
• Performance getting worse instead of better
• Getting sick a lot
• Overly focused on food, weight, or body composition

What to Do About It

The good news? RED-S is treatable. The main goal is to restore energy balance:

Increase calories. She might need to add 300-600 calories per day, with a focus on protein and carbohydrates. Working with a sports nutritionist is really helpful.

Possibly reduce training. Sometimes athletes need to dial back training by 10-20% temporarily to let the body recover.

Build bone health. Ensure she’s getting enough calcium (1,200 mg daily) and vitamin D (1,280-2,000 IU daily) through food and supplements.

Get her period back naturally. Once energy balance is restored, her period should return on its own within a few months. That’s how you know she’s getting better. (And no, birth control pills don’t fix this—they just mask the problem.)

Work with a team. The best treatment involves her doctor, a sports nutritionist, possibly a mental health counselor, her coach, and you—all working together.

Back to That Carpool Conversation

After that carpool ride, I did reach out to my daughter’s friend’s mom. We had a good conversation, and together we connected with the coach. The result? The whole cross country team got education about RED-S, several girls got evaluated by their doctors, and the team culture shifted to emphasize healthy fueling.

That runner? She’s doing great now, with regular periods and no stress fractures. And she still loves cross country—maybe even more, because now she has the energy to truly enjoy it.

If your daughter is an athlete who’s missing periods, please don’t brush it off. Her period isn’t just an inconvenience—it’s a vital sign. And when it goes missing, her body is trying to tell you something important.

Listen to it. Her future self will thank you.

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I’m going to borrow a phrase from Oprah and tell you one thing I know for sure:

Our kids do better in those really sticky situations when they’ve had some time to think about how they might respond before they face that challenge.

When they have time to process a potential struggle before it smacks them in the face, they react in a way that is less impulsive, and they make better choices. The biggest challenge is knowing what challenges are ahead.

That’s where you come in.

You have to get real about the stuff they may encounter. 

It may not sound like rocket science, but it really is proven brain science (and it’s great parenting advice). 

As a physician, it’s the reason I take extra time with every adolescent patient to mention things they are likely to encounter and ask them to consider how they would handle it – whether it’s side effects from a medication or someone handing them a vape. 

Why?

Despite its reputation for drama and impulsivity, the adolescent brain is a remarkable organ. When you present an adolescent with a challenging scenario, [not to scare you, but think vaping, sexting, porn, shoplifting, alcohol, even making mean comments on social media] they are very skilled at creative problem solving –  as long as they’re in a calm setting. However, when emotions or peer pressures are high, their critical thinking skills tank. They desperately need opportunities to practice engaging their brain when they’re calm.

Your Job

So, as the adult, you don’t need to give them solutions. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. Just have a calm conversation about a challenge that might come up for them. Set the scene. Make it sound realistic. Let your child come up with the solutions – and just listen. Stay curious by asking “what then?” questions, but resist the urge to problem-solve for them.

They’ll be more prepared for performing in a pickle and their solutions will stick. When they think it up, they remember it better than remembering what you told them to do.

And don’t worry that talking about scary behaviors will give them new ideas to go out and try— that’s not how it works. There’s research evidence to prove that talking about sex or substances with your kids does NOT make them go out and try it.

If you need a softer start

If the tougher topics seem too daunting for now, you can start with other really easy stuff – like, “What will you do when you get your first period?” Or, “What would you do if you started your period at school and didn’t have any period products?” Or, “What can you say when you hear one of your friends talking mean about someone?”

Just start somewhere

More processing.

Less anxiety and drama.

I promise, it works.

Speaking of an easy topic like periods…if you’re wondering if her first period is close – we can help you with that in this tip “How to predict her first period.” And then if its close – don’t forget our 30- page free ebook for her – it covers ALL THE THINGS she needs to know when she starts her period. It’s called, You Got IT, and it’s available to all members.

 

Ready to become a Girlology member? Learn More HERE. 

In the world before the Internet, how did our mothers know so much about staying healthy? They definitely did the best they could. They instructed us in their health tips, and we accepted them as facts. 

BUT WERE THEY? 

Do you remember any of these “mom-said-so”-isms? 

❌ If you go out in the cold with wet hair, you’ll get pneumonia.

❌ Cracking your knuckles will make them big.

❌ If you swallow chewing gum, it will take 7 years to digest.

❌ Swimming too soon after eating will give you cramps and you could drown!

 I cherish the wisdom my mom passed down to me, but I also chuckle at the “body” and “medical” advice she dished out with GREAT confidence but ZERO evidence (btw – all mom facts above are false)! 

 One of the things she told me when I first started my period was that I was too young to use tampons. And after more than twenty years as a gynecologist, it’s clear she wasn’t the only one saying that. I hear it all the time from concerned moms.

“Can she use tampons this young?” 

At the same time, some of us are determined to be more forward-thinking than our mothers, so we might be tempted to say, “GO FOR IT – ALL YOU WANT!” 

But that would start a NEW myth that could be dangerous.

So the medically accurate answer?

Yes, but with caution.

What’s the worry?

Let me say first and foremost, there is no worry about taking away “virginity” or harming her delicate anatomy. Tampons are a hygiene tool that have nothing to do with sex or virginity (the concept of virginity is another whole blog…). And by the time she starts her period, her vagina is big enough for a tampon.

For her health, the only concern is toxic shock syndrome (TSS), a very rare but serious bacterial infection that has been associated with tampon use and is more common in younger users. For more on that, just click on the links to understand TSS, its warning signs, and how to reduce her risk for it. 

If you care about the WHY….

The vagina takes years to mature. In the time between her first breast bud and her first period, estrogen is helping to thicken the walls of the vagina and encouraging the growth of healthy bacteria that will control the pH and create the natural and healthy balance of “good” bacteria that we refer to as the microbiome (yes, the vagina has one, too). Even after she starts menstruating, the vaginal microbiome will continue to mature for several more years before her vagina has the protection of a mature microbiome and local immune system that helps fight the bacteria that can cause TSS. 

So what’s safe?

Although we don’t have specific studies examining the impact of tampons on the maturing vaginal microbiome, most experts recommend that for the first few years of menstruation, girls should avoid using tampons longer than needed, and should not use them around the clock. I know that’s not very specific, but the main idea is to “limit leaving things in the vagina” as much as possible so the microbiome can keep maturing without disruption through the early years of menstruating.

Prepare her

If she’s ready to use tampons, make sure she knows how they work, tips for inserting, and how to use them safely. We have all of that covered in our Class for Girls: All About Tampons.  

Organic or not?

Finally, if you’re asking that – you’re in good company. It’s one of the most common questions we hear related to products. The answer might surprise you, but we’ve got that covered in this blog: Are Period Products Harming Our Daughters?  

Let’s keep looking to science and asking the questions that allow us to raise informed, prepared, and healthy daughters – without myths or reckless abandon!

 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

 We know our Girlology community has moms with girls of all ages, and questions about birth control may not be on your radar. But whether you have a current or future teen, some essential facts can prepare you as you and your girl head toward adolescence where you’re both sure to encounter LOTS of MYTHS. 

For many teens, some form of birth control will be used to treat or help manage health issues such as menstrual migraines, acne, anemia, painful periods, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, bleeding disorders and other complex medical conditions. Some teens will need pregnancy prevention. And sometimes, a girl just wants to make her periods less disruptive for reasons that might be related to athletic performance, an upcoming vacation, or just because. 

When it comes to all the reasons a teen might need some help with hormones, the most common choice is birth control pills. Sure, there are other methods that may be more reliable like the shot, IUD or implant, but in this piece, I’m focusing on “the pill” which contains both estrogen and progesterone (not to be confused with the “mini-pill which contains ONLY progesterone, is less effective for teens, and was recently approved for over the counter sales without a prescription). 

In medicine, “the pill” is also referred to as oral contraceptive pills (ocp) or Combined Hormonal Contraceptives (a grouping that also includes the birth control patch and vaginal contraceptive ring which are both as effective as the pill and are used for many of the same reasons – the hormones are just absorbed through the skin or the vaginal walls)

So let me get to the 5 most common myths we hear from patients in the office. The facts I present are based on decades of medical research. I hope this helps you and your daughter make decisions that are grounded in reality – not myths or unfounded claims from self-appointed birth control experts on tik tok who are trying to sell supplements, wellness coaching, or some other unproven cure. If you want a deeper discussion on birth control safety and research, watch this video: Is It OK for Her to Take Birth Control Pills?

Myth 1

❌ Birth control pills cause weight gain.

Lots and lots of studies have looked at weight and birth control methods and the bottom line is – birth control pills are weight neutral. They don’t cause weight gain. They don’t cause weight loss. However, teens are naturally and normally supposed to gain body fat as they mature into young adulthood, so they WILL gain weight as they develop. AND, as teens become more independent, changes in their eating habits and activity levels are the other cause for significant weight gain. Only one birth control method has consistently shown weight gain, especially among teens who are already overweight – that is Depo-Provera or the birth control shot.

Myth 2

❌ Birth control pills increase her risk for breast cancer.

Teens who take birth control pills do not have an increased lifetime risk of breast cancer. This includes teens with a family history of breast cancer and even the BRCA genetic mutation for breast cancer risk. BUT, birth control pills have been proven to REDUCE the risk for ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer, and colon cancer.

Myth 3

❌ Birth control pills cause depression.

Ok. Bear with me on this one. Depression and other mood disorders are especially common among adolescent girls, and lots of adolescent girls take birth control pills. So there are some challenges to getting a clear answer regarding whether the pill contributes to depression or depression shows up and she just happens to also be on it. Either way, it’s important to look for an answer – and LOTS of researchers have tried. Unfortunately, numerous studies have found no clear link. However, one fairly recent, well-designed study out of Denmark got a lot of media attention when it showed an association (not a cause) between all hormonal birth control methods and depression; and the link was more significant among teens.

Interestingly, in that study, the biggest risk of depression occurred with progesterone-only contraceptives (which include the IUD, implant, shot, and mini-pill) but it was less with traditional birth control pills (which contain estrogen and progesterone). Also, the increase in depression was SLIGHT. 

For women not on birth control, the baseline rate of depression was 1.7 per 1000 people. For those using birth control, the depression rate was 2.3 per 1000. The difference was statistically significant, but in real life, that’s a very small increase. And that’s the best data we have after decades of looking at this issue.

The bottom line is that every individual can respond differently to medications, so it’s always important to pay attention to side effects or any concerns after starting a new prescription, including birth control pills. It is still accurate to share that the risk of pills causing or worsening depression is very very small, but if it happens to you, we want to know because we can try another formulation of pill or another method!

Myth 4

❌ Teens should be placed on the lowest dose birth control pills.

This is another myth that many moms find surprising. First, understand that almost ALL ocps prescribed today are by definition “low dose,” which means the amount of estrogen (ethinyl estradiol) is 35 mcg or less, but “low doses” range from 10 – 35 mcg.

Secondly, adolescence is the most important time in a female’s life for building bone density. Although estrogen is known to strengthen bones, and birth control pills contain estrogen – all doses do not have the same effect. For teens, optimal bone density development doesn’t happen when the pill has doses of the estrogen that are lower than 30 mcg. That means the ultra low dose 10 mcg pills and even the commonly prescribed 20 mcg doses may be harmful to her bone development.

Besides bones, the lower doses of ocps tend to have more breakthrough bleeding (spotting) and are not always the best at controlling pain and heavy bleeding – all things that make her stop her pills. 

For these reasons, most contraceptive experts treating adolescents recommend birth control pills with 30-35 mcg of the estrogen component. 

Myth 5

❌ Birth control pills make it harder to get pregnant in the future.

False. The reality is that taking birth control pills during the reproductive years has been shown to be slightly protective of future fertility and definitely does not harm or reduce someone’s ability to get pregnant once they are off the pill. This fact is related to the rates of pelvic inflammatory disease (a sexually transmitted infection that spreads into the uterus and fallopian tubes), which are lower among women on the pill than those not on hormonal birth control. 

 

For teens, there are very few contraindications for using hormonal birth control, and the most important thing to know is that any form of birth control (pills, patch, ring, shot, IUD, implant) is safer than pregnancy – always. 

One more thing – 

There are over 150 brands and generic formulations of birth control pills on the market in the U.S. and there are not many physicians who understand the differences between the formulations. However, the majority of teens who start birth control pills will do fine with the one they are given. Those who don’t respond or have significant side effects will usually do better with a different formulation that is wisely selected based on her symptoms. There is no doubt, however, that some people just don’t tolerate or like birth control pills.

For more on birth control and teens, check out the following short tips for Girlology members:

Understanding Side Effects of Birth Control Pills

How to Manage Period Problems with Birth Control Pills 

 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

😢 she’s tearful because she senses something deeply meaningful to her. 

😤 she’s angry because someone was wronged. 

😫 she’s frustrated because she envisions a better solution.

What’s one of the first remarks you hear when a girl or woman becomes tearful, or angry, or frustrated? 😭😡😒

She must be PMS-ing.

Actually, chances are, it’s not PMS.

[Can you tell it really annoys me when I hear those comments? And, no, I’m not PMS-ing!]

Allow me to climb on my soapbox for a second, then I’ll give you some facts. Promise.

We need to fight the societal knee-jerk that writes-off girls’ and women’s emotions as frivolous and flighty because “we’re hormonal.” 

Our hormones don’t create our emotions. Our emotions are responses to things we experience, therefore it is way more likely that…  

😢 she’s tearful because she senses something deeply meaningful to her. 

😤 she’s angry because someone was wronged. 

😫 she’s frustrated because she envisions a better solution.

Our emotions provide us with important insights. We need to stop making excuses for them, and learn to use them to spark growth and change (or at least some reflective time).

On the other hand…

When I asked my 14 year old daughter (child of Girlology upbringing) what PMS stands for, she replied, “Period.Mood.Swings.” 

sigh. 

I obviously need to back up.

[Stepping off soapbox and heading to chalk board…]

PMS stands for Premenstrual Syndrome. It’s real and it impacts over 80% of menstruators — some more than others; so let me give it the attention it deserves by sharing accurate information AND helpful solutions.

The word SYNDROME means a cluster of symptoms that make up a condition. Each symptom affects each individual in different ways and with varying degrees of severity. 

PMS is caused by hormone shifts that happen between ovulation and the start of menstruation. The symptoms are related to falling estrogen levels paired with rising-then-falling progesterone levels. 

By definition, PMS begins after ovulation, and the symptoms stop within a few days after a period begins, often the first day or two of menstruation. That means two important things:

👉🏽 If you do not ovulate, it’s not PMS (in young girls, ovulation is irregular in the first year or two of periods, but the other most common reason for not ovulating is hormonal birth control, which is one of many ways to treat PMS). 

👉🏽 If symptoms continue past menstruation, they are not part of PMS but likely related to a different diagnosis. Talk with your doctor.

Before we get to the cluster of symptoms, an important word about PERIOD-RELATED MOODS:

Moodiness is ONE symptom of PMS, but it’s important to understand that severe premenstrual mood extremes, including paralyzing anxiety, disabling depression, or suicidal thoughts are NOT PMS. If mood changes are this extreme, they are part of a more serious but treatable diagnosis called PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). Don’t ignore those symptoms or think they’re “just PMS.” Please get medical attention.

The other symptoms of PMS are varied, range from mild to severe, and may include: 

• Bloating
• Cramps
• Fatigue
• Acne
• Diarrhea or constipation
• Breast tenderness
• Food cravings
• Mental cloudiness

Sounds horrible, but the good news is that each of these symptoms can be improved with lifestyle changes related to nutrition, exercise, and healthy habits.If you want more information on natural remedies for PMS symptoms, watch THIS CLASS where we discuss solutions with an Integrative Medicine physician who focuses on prevention and natural treatments. 

Most of all, remember that her menstrual cycle should not interfere with her life. The more she understands her cycle, the more prepared she will be to manage it or get the help she needs. And if lifestyle and nutritional changes aren’t doing enough, her physician can provide other options to improve PMS. 

Don’t let her sit back and suffer. She has big things to do!

 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

As a mom of three girls, I admit there have been times when one of my daughters has had a puberty or period issue, and we agreed to “not tell Dad.” Because… girl stuff. 🙈🙉🙊

But if her dad is involved in her life, why do we do this? To protect her? Or to protect him? 

Either way, here’s the truth: it doesn’t protect EITHER of them. 

Girls need the support of men who care about them. 👨‍👧 There’s a well-established body of research confirming the positive impact of healthy father-daughter relationships. It’s a bonus when those men are cool and confident about their little girls growing up – including puberty & periods.

When we keep dads (and boys) in the dark, it perpetuates stigma by implying that periods and body changes are something to hide, when honestly, our biology is something to celebrate and honor. 

So, if your girl’s dad is part of her life and ready to shine (or shine brighter), let him in on the girl-talk. And if you’re the dad seeking help connecting with your tween/teen daughter – don’t back away from those conversations. Dads often bring a fresh, matter-of-fact, sometimes even goofy perspective that boosts comfort for everyone. 

So as we honor all the dads who are helping raise confident girls, here’s one big tip that strengthens the father-daughter bond that can carry a lifetime of benefits:

👉🏽 Instead of DADs always being the one to share their knowledge and skills with their daughters, it’s important to express curiosity that allows girls to explain things to their dads or other men who care about them. 

Maybe it starts with some simple asks:

• “How do you make a Tik Tok?”
• “Will you show me how to play your favorite video game.”
• “Can you help me understand why people like Taylor Swift?”

And as you advance those strategies, don’t hold back on the girl talk topics:

• “How do tampons work?”
• “I never understood the menstrual cycle very well; can you tell me what you know about it?”

When SHE has the opportunity to explain things to YOU (and YOU remain curious and interested), her comfort, confidence, and communication skills grow. So does that connection that creates lasting benefits.

If an ice-breaker might help, start by sitting down together to watch our Prepared for Puberty class or Confident about Periods class. I can’t think of a better way to spend some quality couch time on Fathers Day! 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

When you started your period…did someone say something about becoming a woman??

The day I got my first period, I thought I was dying because what I saw in my underwear didn’t look like what I expected a period to look like. I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but it didn’t look good –  I convinced myself I had cancer.

Not wanting to worry my mom, I decided to hide the evidence. But when she noticed I “wasn’t myself” and asked what was up, I burst into tears and told her the truth — I was dying. 

In her no-nonsense way, she reassured me that wasn’t the case.

Instead, she told me, “It just means you’re a woman, now.” 

Hold up. ✋🏼

Telling me that ALSO made me feel like I was dying a little — like the dirt-digging, fast-running, tree-climbing, wild dancing parts of me had to die — because the women I knew didn’t do that stuff. It made menstruation feel like the end of free-spirited fun and the beginning of boring drudgery.

Fortunately, I’m ok.

But, the more I hear from girls and moms about first period stories, the more convinced I am that this same dialogue I experienced many years ago is still happening today. 

So can we work together to reframe that conversation for the girls in our future? Let’s help everyone have a more realistic understanding of not only what a period IS, but what it means. 

When she starts her period, she’s NOT a woman. 

Instead…

• She is healthy. 
• Her body is normal and doing what it is supposed to do.
• There is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed.
• She has a right to honest and accurate information about her body and how it works.

Most of all, she is still a girl who shares this process with millions of other girls who all manage to have periods AND carry on with all the more important things they do in life. THAT’S a superpower!

If you’re looking for some assistance providing positive messages and practical tips for new or soon-to-be menstruators, we have tons for our members. Our class, Confident About Periods is a great one to watch together! Give it a try and let us know how she’s NOT a woman. 😉

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

Men often admit it – periods freak them out a little. Is it worth the effort to help them overcome their menstrual misunderstandings? What if they were actually supportive – even low key supportive. We don’t need men cheering us on when we start, or making a big deal about our miraculous monthly, but we DO need men to be cool with it and not wince or cover their ears when we mention menstruation. How nice would it be for him to grab a box of your favorite fem care products when he sees them on sale? 

Yeah. We have some work to do.

Sure, we women can continue buying our own stuff and managing just fine, right? But for any man with daughters, it’s actually important to help him loosen up and become a period positive dad.

Researchers in girls’ self-esteem report that daughters with emotionally distant fathers often struggle with self-worth and body image issues. But girls with fathers who stay connected and involved throughout adolescence show greater confidence in their relationships. When dads (and moms) make it clear that they are comfortable discussing periods, they send the message that it’s ok to talk openly about reproductive health, and THAT is a gift. Kids who have open and honest conversations about reproductive health make better decisions about sex and relationships.

Sound like a lot for a dad to conquer? They’re more interested and willing than you might think, and you can get big results with some simple first steps.

Here are 6 steps for helping him become the perfect low-key period support guy.

1- Model comfort. The best way to get him more comfortable is to show your own comfort. Stop whispering about it. Stop using code names for your period or lady parts. Stop hiding your pads, tampons and menstrual cups. Stop putting your femcare products under the other stuff in your shopping basket. The more he sees and hears your comfort, the more inspired he will be to handle it the same way.

2- Review the basics. If he’s confused about the menstrual cycle, have him watch our class, Confident about Periods, or download our ebook on periods HERE. Read or watch them together for a fun and helpful shared experience – no wincing allowed.

3- Take a field trip. Next time you’re at the store together, stroll down the personal care aisle and show him the fem care products you like. Talk (out loud) about the different products and why you like what you like. Make it fun, keep it light, and he’ll catch on that buying pads and tampons is no different than buying toilet paper!

4- Give him your wish list. Send him a picture of your preferred products to keep on his phone so he never has an excuse for not knowing what to get. Then, encourage him to watch for sales if he has shopping duty. Bonus points if he delivers.

5- Use proper terms. If he’s gearing up to be a supportive dad, get him involved and talking early! Whether you have sons or daughters, use the correct words for anatomy from the beginning, and help him stay approachable and askable when those body and baby questions come up. No stuttering. No changing the topic. Practice providing simple, matter-of-fact answers.

6- Keep him involved. As your daughters’ bodies begin to change in puberty, don’t keep it a secret from Dad. Fathers can add a wonderfully important layer of matter-of-factness and humor that gives their daughters an extra boost of confidence and no-biggie attitude as they begin a transition that too often involves shame and embarrassment. Then, if she’s alone with dad when she starts her first period – they’ll handle it together in their own low-key way as they continue to strengthen a bond that will boost her confidence for years to come.

 Want to know our favorite classes for daughters and dads to watch together? 

Confident about Periods
The Science of Reproduction

Did you know that Girlology also offers grade-by-grade, on-demand, video playlists to support her and you — on all things girls’ health? Learn More Here.

If you’ve never considered that question – I’m so sorry for even putting it in your head. Unfortunately, I hear it too often, so I want to give it a thoughtful answer. 

First, let me address WHY this question comes up pretty regularly: 

As moms, we already have plenty of worries. We’re fiercely protective, and any threat to our children’s well-being puts us in mama-bear mode.

As women, for too many centuries, society has [wrongly] centered our value around our ability to reproduce. We have internalized that message for generations, and instinctively, that makes any threat to our reproductive health feel especially terrifying.

So when fear or shame enter conversations about products related to our reproductive system, we go on high alert. 🚨

Marketers totally take advantage of these factors. They suggest that our vulvas are “dirty,” and then tell us their product will “fix it.” They tell us the products we use are dangerous, but that their product is “safer,” “cleaner,” or “more natural” (in marketing, none of these labels require any proof). Similarly, anyone aiming for viral attention on social media can do the same. These messages get our attention despite almost always being downright lies or unsubstantiated claims. 

I admit it; I’m vulnerable, too. I have three daughters. I provide reproductive healthcare for girls and women. I am motivated to get this right, so I’ve done a lot of research. I’ve talked with microbiologists, toxicologists, and know more about the manufacturing of period products than a lot of gynecologists. So, let me step off my anti-fear-mongering soapbox, and provide answers to some of the common questions we hear: 

Are there toxic chemicals in pads, tampons, menstrual cups or period underwear?

Everything is made of “chemicals.” And all chemicals can be toxic – even water (yes, it’s a chemical). So without advanced degrees in organic chemistry and physiology, it’s really difficult as a consumer to determine which chemicals should be of concern. When it comes to disposable pads and tampons which get the most “toxic” attention, they are primarily made of cotton or rayon (did you know rayon comes from wood pulp?), and they have other ingredients that have been thoroughly tested and deemed safe. Many of the ingredients are things used in other products we use and trust, like band-aids and diapers. 

Specifically, the chemicals that concern me most in personal care items are classified as “endocrine disruptors.” They are commonly found in certain plastics and many fragrances (even natural lavender oil). The most popular pads and tampons (including the pad liners and tampon plastic applicators) do not have those types of plastics in them. So my general rule is to avoid any scented products, and consider them safe.

Who makes sure they’re safe? 

All period products are regulated by the FDA as medical devices. That means ALL period products sold on the shelves of your local stores have been through a detailed process of research, development, safety testing, and ongoing monitoring for harmful effects. Those products also undergo routine testing that specifically monitors ingredients that have caused concern in the past like dioxins and chlorine bleach (which you won’t find in any products today).

Large consumer product companies spend billions of dollars on research and development. I have had opportunities to consult for global brands like Always and Tampax (no, they are not paying me nor sponsoring this content). I have talked with members of their giant team of experts and PhD researchers who are fiercely dedicated to science and data. They do important research that not only improves the products we use, but advances health science. And heck, many of them are women and/or parents, and they trust these products for themselves and their families. If my favorite toxicologist believes they’re safe, so do I. 

Aren’t organic pads and tampons safer? 

There are some things I use or consume that I prefer to be organic, but pads and tampons aren’t on that list. Here’s why. Organic cotton and conventional cotton both require a process using scalding hot water to remove the natural waxy coating (where pesticide and herbicide residue is held). That super hot process removes pesticides & herbicides so well, that they are no longer detectable even in non-organic cotton. Furthermore, there are zero studies to indicate that organic period products are healthier or safer for humans. All tampons (organic or conventional) carry the same risk for toxic shock syndrome, which is by far the most concerning, although very rare, tampon-related risk.  

Can pads or tampons cause ovarian cysts, endometriosis, or other reproductive health problems?

The reproductive system is complex, and there is no identifiable single cause of any diseases or abnormalities. Yet, it’s human nature to identify the root cause of problems we experience and point fingers at what we believe to be the cause. A recent case in point is the viral Tik Tok claim that titanium dioxide used as a whitener in tampon strings caused a young woman’s ovarian cysts. Period products simply can’t do that; it’s not biologically possible. Furthermore, titanium dioxide is a whitening ingredient used in toothpaste, sunscreens, and many foods. The amount in tampon strings is tiny compared to other uses, and it has never been considered unsafe. Just because we can identify something we did or used when we developed a problem, doesn’t mean it’s the cause of the problem. In science and medicine, we say correlation is not causation. Determining the actual root cause of a health problem is much more complicated than just relating it to a random event.

Perspective matters. 

At some point, we have to accept that everything we consume and everything we do carries risks. Some are more serious than others. Riding in a car is far more dangerous than the potential risks associated with the regulated consumer products we use on a daily (or monthly) basis. 

As mama-bears and concerned consumers, we should absolutely continue to pay attention, but it’s critical that we and our daughters figure out who to believe, understand where the claims come from, and stop getting our health information from random social media accounts. That’s the best way to fight fear-mongering, protect our kids, and prepare them to be smart consumers.

 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you through all things puberty and adolescence. Our doctor-moms cover topics like this and lots others! Learn More HERE.