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As a pediatrician/adolescent medicine specialist, I ask questions all day long, including lots of questions about sex and sexuality. By now, I’ve probably interviewed tens of thousands of adolescents. I teach medical students to take sexual histories: always promising confidentiality unless someone’s life is in danger, emphasizing the importance of being non-judgmental and open-minded, and not making assumptions about people’s sexuality. I never asked my sons any such questions because I didn’t want to pry; if they wanted me to know something, I figured they’d tell me or ask me questions.

About five months before my older son was getting married, in the middle of dinner, my wife and I with our two sons, our younger son Noah stood...