As a mom of three girls, I admit there have been times when one of my daughters has had a puberty or period issue, and we agreed to “not tell Dad.” Because… girl stuff. 🙈🙉🙊

But if her dad is involved in her life, why do we do this? To protect her? Or to protect him? 

Either way, here’s the truth: it doesn’t protect EITHER of them. 

Girls need the support of men who care about them. 👨‍👧 There’s a well-established body of research confirming the positive impact of healthy father-daughter relationships. It’s a bonus when those men are cool and confident about their little girls growing up – including puberty & periods.

When we keep dads (and boys) in the dark, it perpetuates stigma by implying that periods and body changes are something to hide, when honestly, our biology is something to celebrate and honor. 

So, if your girl’s dad is part of her life and ready to shine (or shine brighter), let him in on the girl-talk. And if you’re the dad seeking help connecting with your tween/teen daughter – don’t back away from those conversations. Dads often bring a fresh, matter-of-fact, sometimes even goofy perspective that boosts comfort for everyone. 

So as we honor all the dads who are helping raise confident girls, here’s one big tip that strengthens the father-daughter bond that can carry a lifetime of benefits:

👉🏽 Instead of DADs always being the one to share their knowledge and skills with their daughters, it’s important to express curiosity that allows girls to explain things to their dads or other men who care about them. 

Maybe it starts with some simple asks:

• “How do you make a Tik Tok?”
• “Will you show me how to play your favorite video game.”
• “Can you help me understand why people like Taylor Swift?”

And as you advance those strategies, don’t hold back on the girl talk topics:

• “How do tampons work?”
• “I never understood the menstrual cycle very well; can you tell me what you know about it?”

When SHE has the opportunity to explain things to YOU (and YOU remain curious and interested), her comfort, confidence, and communication skills grow. So does that connection that creates lasting benefits.

If an ice-breaker might help, start by sitting down together to watch our Prepared for Puberty class or Confident about Periods class. I can’t think of a better way to spend some quality couch time on Fathers Day! 

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

When you started your period…did someone say something about becoming a woman??

The day I got my first period, I thought I was dying because what I saw in my underwear didn’t look like what I expected a period to look like. I wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but it didn’t look good –  I convinced myself I had cancer.

Not wanting to worry my mom, I decided to hide the evidence. But when she noticed I “wasn’t myself” and asked what was up, I burst into tears and told her the truth — I was dying. 

In her no-nonsense way, she reassured me that wasn’t the case.

Instead, she told me, “It just means you’re a woman, now.” 

Hold up. ✋🏼

Telling me that ALSO made me feel like I was dying a little — like the dirt-digging, fast-running, tree-climbing, wild dancing parts of me had to die — because the women I knew didn’t do that stuff. It made menstruation feel like the end of free-spirited fun and the beginning of boring drudgery.

Fortunately, I’m ok.

But, the more I hear from girls and moms about first period stories, the more convinced I am that this same dialogue I experienced many years ago is still happening today. 

So can we work together to reframe that conversation for the girls in our future? Let’s help everyone have a more realistic understanding of not only what a period IS, but what it means. 

When she starts her period, she’s NOT a woman. 

Instead…

• She is healthy. 
• Her body is normal and doing what it is supposed to do.
• There is no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed.
• She has a right to honest and accurate information about her body and how it works.

Most of all, she is still a girl who shares this process with millions of other girls who all manage to have periods AND carry on with all the more important things they do in life. THAT’S a superpower!

If you’re looking for some assistance providing positive messages and practical tips for new or soon-to-be menstruators, we have tons for our members. Our class, Confident About Periods is a great one to watch together! Give it a try and let us know how she’s NOT a woman. 😉

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade playlists listing on-demand video and downloadable content to support her and you through the entire journey? Learn More 

Men often admit it – periods freak them out a little. Is it worth the effort to help them overcome their menstrual misunderstandings? What if they were actually supportive – even low key supportive. We don’t need men cheering us on when we start, or making a big deal about our miraculous monthly, but we DO need men to be cool with it and not wince or cover their ears when we mention menstruation. How nice would it be for him to grab a box of your favorite fem care products when he sees them on sale? 

Yeah. We have some work to do.

Sure, we women can continue buying our own stuff and managing just fine, right? But for any man with daughters, it’s actually important to help him loosen up and become a period positive dad.

Researchers in girls’ self-esteem report that daughters with emotionally distant fathers often struggle with self-worth and body image issues. But girls with fathers who stay connected and involved throughout adolescence show greater confidence in their relationships. When dads (and moms) make it clear that they are comfortable discussing periods, they send the message that it’s ok to talk openly about reproductive health, and THAT is a gift. Kids who have open and honest conversations about reproductive health make better decisions about sex and relationships.

Sound like a lot for a dad to conquer? They’re more interested and willing than you might think, and you can get big results with some simple first steps.

Here are 6 steps for helping him become the perfect low-key period support guy.

1- Model comfort. The best way to get him more comfortable is to show your own comfort. Stop whispering about it. Stop using code names for your period or lady parts. Stop hiding your pads, tampons and menstrual cups. Stop putting your femcare products under the other stuff in your shopping basket. The more he sees and hears your comfort, the more inspired he will be to handle it the same way.

2- Review the basics. If he’s confused about the menstrual cycle, have him watch our class, Confident about Periods, or download our ebook on periods HERE. Read or watch them together for a fun and helpful shared experience – no wincing allowed.

3- Take a field trip. Next time you’re at the store together, stroll down the personal care aisle and show him the fem care products you like. Talk (out loud) about the different products and why you like what you like. Make it fun, keep it light, and he’ll catch on that buying pads and tampons is no different than buying toilet paper!

4- Give him your wish list. Send him a picture of your preferred products to keep on his phone so he never has an excuse for not knowing what to get. Then, encourage him to watch for sales if he has shopping duty. Bonus points if he delivers.

5- Use proper terms. If he’s gearing up to be a supportive dad, get him involved and talking early! Whether you have sons or daughters, use the correct words for anatomy from the beginning, and help him stay approachable and askable when those body and baby questions come up. No stuttering. No changing the topic. Practice providing simple, matter-of-fact answers.

6- Keep him involved. As your daughters’ bodies begin to change in puberty, don’t keep it a secret from Dad. Fathers can add a wonderfully important layer of matter-of-factness and humor that gives their daughters an extra boost of confidence and no-biggie attitude as they begin a transition that too often involves shame and embarrassment. Then, if she’s alone with dad when she starts her first period – they’ll handle it together in their own low-key way as they continue to strengthen a bond that will boost her confidence for years to come.

 Want to know our favorite classes for daughters and dads to watch together? 

Confident about Periods
The Science of Reproduction

Did you know that Girlology also offers grade-by-grade, on-demand, video playlists to support her and you — on all things girls’ health? Learn More Here.