I’m on my second “cup” of coffee as I write this. And since I like  a big mug, I’m approaching about 300 mg of caffeine this morning. ☕️☕️

In a little while, wide-eyed and ready for my day, I’ll drive past our local high school where I’ll see lots of students walking in with big Starbucks cups (with about 360 mg in a Grande), and some with energy drinks (about 200 mg in a Celsius). 

Yes, teens are tired, and a little caffeine can sharpen mental focus and provide an energy boost.

But “a little” caffeine is not what most teens are consuming. 

We know (from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the FDA) that children under 12 should not even consume caffeine, and teens should have no more than 100 mg per day ☕️

Don’t worry… for you mamas who want to follow the adult rules, you get up to 400 mg per day ☕️☕️☕️).

Why should we limit caffeine intake for youth? What about those energy drinks they love?

• For starters there’s that developing brain thing and a growing body. 🧠🤸🏽‍♀️

• Exposing adolescents to excessive caffeine can create chemical dependence, affect behavior, and decrease the absorption of important nutrients like calcium (bones matter, right?). 

• In chronic or high doses, caffeine can cause anxiety, stomach pain, dehydration, headaches, loss of focus, and sleep problems – which creates a vicious cycle of fatigue and more caffeine intake. ☠ Watch Dr. Trish’s Tip for more on this!

I’m NOT advocating that we eliminate caffeine for teens, but many have problems with moderation and don’t know the facts. As a caring (and informed!) parent, you can clue them in on a few things:

1️⃣  They should limit their caffeine intake until they are adults (not just adult-sized) for all the reasons I mentioned above. Decaf, half-caf, or teas may be better choices.

2️⃣  They should know that it takes about 6 hours to metabolize caffeine, so any evening-time caffeine will disrupt their sleep quality (whether they believe it or not).⏱

3️⃣  I’m gonna say it yet again…Sleep is key to health & learning, and adolescents need 8-9 hours every night. No amount of caffeine can make up for lost sleep. 

If you’re wondering about energy drinks, watch this tip from Dr. Neha Suri.

And if you’re trying to find practical ways to help your tween or teen sleep better, Dr. Kristin Daley, psychologist, sleep specialist AND mom of 3 teens, shares her best tricks in THIS interview. 

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Did you know Girlology offers grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on ALL.THE.TOPICS from mental health (and yes, sleep) to puberty, periods, skin care, body image and more! Learn More Here.

by Cara Reeves, PhD, Girlology’s Director of Mental Wellness

I admit it; I’m obsessed with the new Inside Out 2 movie. As a psychologist, I have to say that the creators (Dave Holstein, Kelsey Mann, Megan LeFauve) NAILED IT! The story gives a perfect depiction of the complexity, unpredictability and intensity of teenage emotions. We can all learn from it. 

If you haven’t seen it yet (SPOILER ALERT), the movie picks up as the main character, Riley (now 13), transitions into puberty – bringing along a host of new, strong, mercurial emotions: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment and Ennui (boredom).  

The new emotions quickly take over Riley’s mental “headquarters” and wreak havoc in her life at the worst possible time – during a three day tryout for her high school ice hockey team. Not only is she juggling some pretty challenging friendship dynamics and vying for a position on the team, she is also trying to understand the new, BIG, feelings that are bubbling up AND trying to figure out what to do about them. These new feelings make her question herself. Do they mean she isn’t the person she thought she was? 

The storyline is an INSIDE look (hence the name INSIDE OUT) at what goes on in the teenage mind.  

Adolescence is a time of constant change and growth.  As soon as kids (and their parents) think they’ve figured things out and settled into a groove….

WHOOSH!!!!

…the rug gets pulled out from under them, and they are back to figuring things out again. 

As these emotional shifts happen, kids don’t understand why they are SOOO upset about a bad hair day or SOOO nervous about a dance recital or SOOO mad at their brother. The movie does a great job highlighting this internal struggle as emotions quickly take over and overwhelm unsuspecting Riley.  

As a psychologist, I love the visual representation of the different emotions. They are PART of Riley, but they don’t define who Riley IS as a person (that’s actually her Sense of Self). 

Particularly notable is the way the movie shows that the RIGHT amount of emotion can serve an important purpose, but TOO MUCH for TOO LONG can create a problem. I do, however, wish that there was more of an emphasis on how Riley learns to manage her emotions. What if her Sense of Self had been the main character who manages the emotions? Ah, but maybe I’m moving into therapy mode and should leave the role-selection process to the creators.

As a mom, I love that the movie reminded me how fickle, intense and disorienting teenage emotions can be and that I shouldn’t get too worked up about it (that’s my OWN anxiety taking the helm and planning for the worst case scenario).  Rather, I should try to enjoy the roller coaster, be present, and appreciate the highs, while at the same time be a steady and supportive presence during the twists, turns and lows. 

Another crucial lesson for parents: we cannot figure this out for them!  Our kids have to figure out how to manage their big emotions on their own. Our job is to allow them to have new life experiences (Riley’s parents allowed her to go to ice hockey tryouts even in the midst of some super intense teen angst), but be a safe place for them when they are in need of love, guidance and support.  

There are so many great reminders and lessons throughout the movie. Here are a few more of the highlights:

😀 All emotions (even the uncomfortable ones) serve a purpose!

😭 It’s not good to bottle uncomfortable emotions and hide from bad memories.  

😟 You can’t expect to be happy ALL the time….that just isn’t normal or healthy!

😳 If big emotions stay around too long it can be a problem, so it is important to learn how to manage them.

😋 Your sense of self (who you are) changes/evolves over time as you gain new experiences, memories and emotions.  

🫣 Anxiety is future-oriented, has a lot of energy and can be VERY misleading!

I highly recommend seeing the movie with your kids)! It offers some great discussion springboards and essential lessons to help us all raise emotionally healthy teens (and even gain some personal insights to help).  

For more great tips and insights from Dr. Cara Reeves, Girlology’s Director of Mental Health, become a Girlology member. Did you know Girlology offers grade-by-grade video playlists to support her and you — on ALL.THE.TOPICS from mental health to puberty, periods, skin care, body image and more! Learn More Here.

If you were to take a few minutes before bed every night for a week to ponder and write down “Three Good Things” from your day, research says you’d experience an increase in happiness, hope, and optimism. If you were to stick with it longer, you’d grow resilience and you might also boost your immune system. Sound too good to be true? Three Good Things is one of the most well-known and well-studied tools of positive psychology. 

Seems like we should get our kids on board with it, right? 

So I tried.

When my kids were still in elementary school, we would do something similar at the dinner table every evening. We started each dinner by asking each person tell three good things from their day. We could hardly keep each of our girls from interrupting each other with their joyous lists of daily highlights. 🤗

Then came adolescence, and suddenly, our happy habit was “stupid” or met with silent, squinty glares. 🙄

Our forced family happiness exercise was ruining our family dinners. 

You know what else ruins a family dinner? 

The natural conversations that flow when dinner starts off with sighs and eye rolls over a happiness exercise. Next thing you know, you’re bringing up bad grades, forgotten chores, dirty rooms, and screen time.

Who wants to sit at that table? 😠😫😔

Eventually, everyone will be looking for a way out, and it becomes way too easy to let them all skip the dinner table and eat on their own schedules.

So, if you have adolescents, it’s time to be more strategic about meal time as well as the moods they may bring to the table. To help, I have two very simple recommendations:  

1.) Make the dinner table a place where the adults are not allowed to make any negative comments or observations. If the kids bring up emotionally charged topics. This is your chance to practice the 5 tips we shared in our Girlology TV episode on puberty, moods & attitudes. Members can watch it HERE.

2). Make eating together a priority whenever you can, because shared mealtime PROTECTS our kids from many of the things we worry about. Like what? Depression, disordered eating, unhealthy risk taking and it BOOSTS a lot of qualities we hope for, like self esteem, vocabulary, and even academic performance. Members can learn more about the benefits of shared mealtimes in our tip, Family Meals are Good Medicine. Even a couple times a week helps, and the meal doesn’t always have to be dinner! 

What works for you and your kids at mealtimes? Let us know in the comments! 🍴🥗🍕🍛🧇

Did you know Girlology has grade-by-grade video on demand playlists to support her and you through all things puberty and adolescence. Our doctor-moms cover topics like this and lots others! Learn More HERE.